“Here’s the thing about apologies, Wilson. They don’t come naturally to me.”
- Megan
We’ve made it to the season 2 finale! It still remains to be seen whether ABC will return Megan and company for a 3rd go round or not. But we should know that in a few short weeks. We have a sort of in media res beginning with Megan narrating about how she’s not very good at apologies. She’s on the phone, then locking the door. She gets thrown over her desk and ends up bound and gagged. We cut to five days previously following a girl ta bar tossing back shots. She goes around kissing random guy sand before we know it; she’s dead in the alley behind the bar. Something ripped her throat open. She’s a college freshman named Nikki and someone took photos of every guy she kissed. Back at the morgue, Megan finds some strange things on the body, including a chunk of hair missing, a white substance on her hairline and faint circles on her stomach and hips. Kate is quick to point out it was likely Nikki was pledging a sorority. I have to say I was grateful my sorority forbade hazing. There were definitely groups on campus that were rumored to that kind of crap, though. Kate goes with Bud to talk to the sorority girls but she’s obviously more in my camp. She sees hazing as betraying what a sorority is supposed to be about. The girl they’re talking to took the pictures as part of one of their traditions. Nikki also had to go commando for a week (which explained the no underwear thing). She does note that she didn’t take the final picture but she knows the guy and he was obsessed with Nikki.
Back at the lab, Megan is helping Lacey with her insulin pump and Lacey is complaining that she has to keep a food journal and count calories. Megan reminds her it’s just a period of adjustment. Back on campus Bud and Kate confront Nikki’s would-be stalker and lip-lock number 31. OF course, he denies killing her. He was only at the bar to get a kiss since he’s really not Nikki’s type. Back at the lab, Ethan is trying to wheedle the gender of Bud’s baby out of him so he can get an appropriate baby shower gift. Megan interrupts and Ethan shows her a strange x-ray that has fractures to the front of her face. That tells Megan something (along with Ethan making a comment about someone shoving a screwdriver up the victim’s nose and twirling it around…yuck) and after some rather gross head sawing, we find that dearly departed Nikki is missing her brain.
Megan’s seen this MO before in a serial killer named Wilson Polley. She worked the case a few years back. Her first case in fact. He murdered three women on the PTA at his daughter’s school after they refused to go out with him. Bud and Megan head out to talk to the first person suspected of the crime (he was in the last victim’s house three hours before her death). He’s made a lot of money off writing a tell-all book about it. He’s surprised to see that Nikki is the latest victim. She was the third victim’s daughter. That’s not creepy at all. Curtis has discovered that the red stuff left in Nikki’s hair was a chemical and it looks like maybe the killer has a signature (and is a copycat). He also found a webpage for people devoted to Wilson (that always really wierded me out. People admiring serial killers). Megan pays Wilson a visit and he hands over some letters from his fans with the expectation that when Megan realizes she was wrong and he’s innocent, she gives him an apology.
Peter arrives at the lab with molds from the previous three victims, ready to cast Nikki’s skull to see if the tool marks match. Kate’s beat him to it. She’s got some sorority girl connection with Nikki and wants to help. Things are looking good for Megan when they discover all 4 skulls have the same tool marks. Bud has brought in Nikki’s stalker. He admits to writing to Wilson and he also admits to cutting off a lock of Nikki’s hair when she kissed him. But he swears he didn’t kill her. Megan is back at the prison and spouts off to Wilson about how he convinced the kid to kill Nikki so Wilson could get out of jail. Things get heated and emotional when Wilson (he probably just Googled Megan) starts saying that between them, Megan’s the only one who has taken a life. He references the patient that she killed and says she’s so arrogant that she pushes everyone away, from her ex-husband to her father who killed himself. She fights back saying he was so pathetic he let a woman saying he was boring in bed rile him up to kill three women. She storms off and gets a call from Peter. The white substance they found on Nikki’s head matches a prescription the first suspect has. They search his place and find a real Egyptian embalming hook.
The suspect (Grubnik) says that the box arrived on his porch with the hook inside. He didn’t kill Nikki. The lab lifts a print off the hook and it points to Wilson’s daughter, Sophia. So, dutifully Bud brings Sophia in and she vehemently denies killing anyone. She says Grubnik showed up with the hook and asked her if it was real. This case is getting way too confusing. I can usually tell who the killer is pretty early on but this time, I couldn’t even begin to guess. Meanwhile, Wilson calls Megan and tells her to stay away from his daughter. He makes a not so veiled threat against Lacey which sends Megan scampering home only to find Lacey not answering her phone or in the apartment at all. I have a feeling she took Peter’s advice to live her life. Megan calls Bud in a panic and he tells her to stay at the apartment and keep trying Lacey’s cell. He’s sending a squad car over to her place. And I was right. Lacey’s at a party. Megan picks her up and tells her she’s staying at her dad’s because of Wilson’s threat. That seems to quell some of Lacey’s rebellious streak. And Megan’s not too happy with Peter for dolling out parenting advice to her daughter. She’s really just pissing people off left and right.
Peter and Sam head back to the crime scene and find dead rats. Looks like they were poisoned and Curtis determines it was bleach. Not the stuff you can get at the store but the kind that’s used in hospitals and prisons. Megan figures out that Wilson killed Nikki and then snuck back into prison to have an alibi. I have to admit, it’s kind of genius. She, Bud and Sam get to the prison but things go downhill. The guard who was on Wilson’s cell block the night of Nikki’s death is bringing Wilson to the Warden’s office. They get there to find the guard down and his uniform gone. This is really not going to end well. Wilson’s on the outside. His phone is being tracked and it appears he’s heading to Canada and the US Marshals have taken over the case. So the rest of the team, minus Megan who will be along shortly head to Jeannie’s baby shower. Unfortunately for Megan, Wilson is not heading to Canada. He’s in the lab. I never noticed how many glass doors and windows the lab had in it until people and chairs go crashing through them. Wilson knocks Megan out and ties her up. He’s going to kill and he thinks he’s warded off any rescuers until Peter shows up and beings the crap out of Wilson. Megan manages to get loose and shoots at Wilson. He looks kind of surprised and then Peter tosses him off the side of the building. Which would be a great ending except that Peter’s got the damn embalming hook halfway through his stomach. We conclude season 2 with Megan trying to keep a bleeding Peter conscious.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Ringer 1.21: "It's Called Improvising, Bitch!"
“That’s not true! You never cared about me or Dad. You only cared about yourself!”
- Juliet
I can’t believe we’ve reached the penultimate episode already. I have to say I thought the developments in “It’s Calling Improvising, Bitch!” were very good and definitely moved the story forward. We pick up right where we ended with the previous episode. Bridget’s been drugged by Catherine and we realize that she’s the one who has been out for Siobhan the whole time. I knew there was something off about Catherine the last few episodes. Anyway, we see Catherine typing a suicide note on Siobhan’s laptop and dumping Bridget in the tub and starting the water. We get a couple flashbacks to see when Catherine’s plot to do in Siobhan started. Apparently eight months earlier, Siobhan told Catherine they were selling the house in Florida and that they were sending Juliet to boarding school. Back in the present, Catherine leaves a note presumably for whoever comes home saying she’s at therapy and heads out.
Meanwhile, Victor is trying to reach “Siobhan” on her cell but obviously she can’t answer. He tries Andrew at work next but he’s not in. Unfortunately, Victor gets intercepted in the parking garage of his hotel by the FBI. They don’t look too happy to see him and the sentiment appears mutual. Catherine is about to make a clean getaway when she realizes her phone (the one Bridget took off the first hit man) is missing. She races back upstairs and frantically searches the apartment for it. We flashback to five and a half months ago and see her on the phone with the guy who she paid to do the deed and she is pissed that it didn’t work. Catherine probably would have found the phone eventually if Andrew hadn’t come home to change his tie and tell Siobhan about Tim Arbogast’s offer to get Martin/Charles out of financial ruin. Catherine’s acting fishy and he thinks she’s keeping him out of his bedroom because she’s going to take a bath in the master suite tub. Lucky for Bridget, water starts pouring out of the tub into the bedroom and Andrew manages to revive her.
Henry and Siobhan are having their own issues. Henry’s petition for supervised visits with his first set of twins has been denied. He again begs Siobhan to keep out of things and let his lawyer do his job. Siobhan says she’s not going to do anything but believe in Henry. Yeah, like that’s true. She couldn’t stop scheming if her life depended on it. Back at the Martin loft, Catherine is starting to rant a bit. She’s printed plane tickets to Mexico for her and Andrew and she gets really angry when both Andrew and Bridget tell her to think of Juliet. She apparently has that angle covered by having Juliet out all day running errands. We get a brief scene that’s probably a flashback to that morning where Catherine tells Juliet to run more errands. Meanwhile, Siobhan is getting three fake passports that will be flagged by INS. See, I knew she was up to no good!
Over at FBI headquarters, Victor gets told in no uncertain terms he’s done. He’s on a flight back to Wyoming in the morning. He does however convince the FBI to pay the Martins a visit to make sure everyone is okay. Back at the apartment, Catherine has Andrew packing for Mexico. She says she’s got to improvise so it’s a little shaky. The whole thing is just ridiculous. And as if things couldn’t get crazier, the FBI guys show up and Andrew and Bridget stage it so everything looks status quo. Andrew almost alerts to danger (code is using a day of the week in a sentence and he writes it on a business card) but decides against it when he sees Catherine holding her gun on “Siobhan”. We next find the real Siobhan paying another visit to Oksana, the maid who ID’s Henry. Things get hinky quickly and it turns out she’s a high price call girl. It’s unclear why she OD’d with her John. But the maid is dead so no more testimony. And Siobhan goes into labor. And since this storyline is relatively minor to the episode, she gets to the hospital and is rushed into surgery. It looks like the twins (a set of girls) are going to be okay and Henry (displaying a modicum of intelligence) asks the doctor to do a paternity test.
And now, back in crazy town, Juliet has the misfortune of coming home. And from there, Catherine gets even more desperate because out comes the duct tape. Juliet tells her mother that she’s a crazy bitch which is true. She needs a pep talk and calls her sort-of partner in crime who turns out to be Olivia. I have to say I didn’t quite see that coming. Not in the way it unfolds anyway. We get an extended flashback where Catherine shows up on Olivia’s doorstep after Andrew threw her out (when she was burning Juliet’s pictures) and they end up making out. I hadn’t realized Olivia was a lesbian. Too bad for Catherine, Olivia isn’t having any of her crazy talk. She thought they were lying low after the second hit attempt failed. She wants no part in any of what’s happening. Juliet manages to snag the cell phone Bridget dropped when she was knocked out and calls Victor. In some slightly cheesy dialogue, Bridget and Andrew not only reveal they’re being held at gunpoint in their apartment by Catherine, but they alert him that Olivia is involved and even get the location out of Catherine. Victor to the rescue!
We enter yet another flashback (there were kind of too many this episode I think. Though it did help explain Olivia and Catherine’s bizarre relationship) where Olivia explains all about the Ponzi scheme and how she’d love to get rid of Siobhan. Catherine reveals the whole hit man agenda and Olivia seems a bit intrigued, saying all she did wrong was not getting the phone. Catherine’s starting to lose it when Olivia doesn’t pick up the phone. Andrew is going to try and make a move by hitting Catherine with a paperweight but Olivia calls back and tells Catherine to come directly to her. We find out that Catherine promised Olivia that Siobhan would be dead soon when Olivia left after the whole Tyler debacle. So Catherine is going to take “Siobhan” with her as a hostage. Too bad Victor’s waiting at the safe house. He manages to apprehend Catherine without anyone else getting hurt. So at least the week before the season finale, they’ve wrapped up some of the storylines. Here’s hoping the finale really delivers.
- Juliet
I can’t believe we’ve reached the penultimate episode already. I have to say I thought the developments in “It’s Calling Improvising, Bitch!” were very good and definitely moved the story forward. We pick up right where we ended with the previous episode. Bridget’s been drugged by Catherine and we realize that she’s the one who has been out for Siobhan the whole time. I knew there was something off about Catherine the last few episodes. Anyway, we see Catherine typing a suicide note on Siobhan’s laptop and dumping Bridget in the tub and starting the water. We get a couple flashbacks to see when Catherine’s plot to do in Siobhan started. Apparently eight months earlier, Siobhan told Catherine they were selling the house in Florida and that they were sending Juliet to boarding school. Back in the present, Catherine leaves a note presumably for whoever comes home saying she’s at therapy and heads out.
Meanwhile, Victor is trying to reach “Siobhan” on her cell but obviously she can’t answer. He tries Andrew at work next but he’s not in. Unfortunately, Victor gets intercepted in the parking garage of his hotel by the FBI. They don’t look too happy to see him and the sentiment appears mutual. Catherine is about to make a clean getaway when she realizes her phone (the one Bridget took off the first hit man) is missing. She races back upstairs and frantically searches the apartment for it. We flashback to five and a half months ago and see her on the phone with the guy who she paid to do the deed and she is pissed that it didn’t work. Catherine probably would have found the phone eventually if Andrew hadn’t come home to change his tie and tell Siobhan about Tim Arbogast’s offer to get Martin/Charles out of financial ruin. Catherine’s acting fishy and he thinks she’s keeping him out of his bedroom because she’s going to take a bath in the master suite tub. Lucky for Bridget, water starts pouring out of the tub into the bedroom and Andrew manages to revive her.
Henry and Siobhan are having their own issues. Henry’s petition for supervised visits with his first set of twins has been denied. He again begs Siobhan to keep out of things and let his lawyer do his job. Siobhan says she’s not going to do anything but believe in Henry. Yeah, like that’s true. She couldn’t stop scheming if her life depended on it. Back at the Martin loft, Catherine is starting to rant a bit. She’s printed plane tickets to Mexico for her and Andrew and she gets really angry when both Andrew and Bridget tell her to think of Juliet. She apparently has that angle covered by having Juliet out all day running errands. We get a brief scene that’s probably a flashback to that morning where Catherine tells Juliet to run more errands. Meanwhile, Siobhan is getting three fake passports that will be flagged by INS. See, I knew she was up to no good!
Over at FBI headquarters, Victor gets told in no uncertain terms he’s done. He’s on a flight back to Wyoming in the morning. He does however convince the FBI to pay the Martins a visit to make sure everyone is okay. Back at the apartment, Catherine has Andrew packing for Mexico. She says she’s got to improvise so it’s a little shaky. The whole thing is just ridiculous. And as if things couldn’t get crazier, the FBI guys show up and Andrew and Bridget stage it so everything looks status quo. Andrew almost alerts to danger (code is using a day of the week in a sentence and he writes it on a business card) but decides against it when he sees Catherine holding her gun on “Siobhan”. We next find the real Siobhan paying another visit to Oksana, the maid who ID’s Henry. Things get hinky quickly and it turns out she’s a high price call girl. It’s unclear why she OD’d with her John. But the maid is dead so no more testimony. And Siobhan goes into labor. And since this storyline is relatively minor to the episode, she gets to the hospital and is rushed into surgery. It looks like the twins (a set of girls) are going to be okay and Henry (displaying a modicum of intelligence) asks the doctor to do a paternity test.
And now, back in crazy town, Juliet has the misfortune of coming home. And from there, Catherine gets even more desperate because out comes the duct tape. Juliet tells her mother that she’s a crazy bitch which is true. She needs a pep talk and calls her sort-of partner in crime who turns out to be Olivia. I have to say I didn’t quite see that coming. Not in the way it unfolds anyway. We get an extended flashback where Catherine shows up on Olivia’s doorstep after Andrew threw her out (when she was burning Juliet’s pictures) and they end up making out. I hadn’t realized Olivia was a lesbian. Too bad for Catherine, Olivia isn’t having any of her crazy talk. She thought they were lying low after the second hit attempt failed. She wants no part in any of what’s happening. Juliet manages to snag the cell phone Bridget dropped when she was knocked out and calls Victor. In some slightly cheesy dialogue, Bridget and Andrew not only reveal they’re being held at gunpoint in their apartment by Catherine, but they alert him that Olivia is involved and even get the location out of Catherine. Victor to the rescue!
We enter yet another flashback (there were kind of too many this episode I think. Though it did help explain Olivia and Catherine’s bizarre relationship) where Olivia explains all about the Ponzi scheme and how she’d love to get rid of Siobhan. Catherine reveals the whole hit man agenda and Olivia seems a bit intrigued, saying all she did wrong was not getting the phone. Catherine’s starting to lose it when Olivia doesn’t pick up the phone. Andrew is going to try and make a move by hitting Catherine with a paperweight but Olivia calls back and tells Catherine to come directly to her. We find out that Catherine promised Olivia that Siobhan would be dead soon when Olivia left after the whole Tyler debacle. So Catherine is going to take “Siobhan” with her as a hostage. Too bad Victor’s waiting at the safe house. He manages to apprehend Catherine without anyone else getting hurt. So at least the week before the season finale, they’ve wrapped up some of the storylines. Here’s hoping the finale really delivers.
HIMYM 7.20: "Trilogy Time"
“Dude, you can’t let that happen. If you’re not trilling it at least once every three years, the Dark Side wins.”
-Marshall
“Trilogy Time” was one of the more unique episodes of HIMYM that I’ve seen in a while. It really took full advantage of the show’s tendency to play with time and perception. I enjoyed the creativity that went into the flashbacks and the characters’ imagined futures. And I enjoyed the large role that “Star Wars” played in the episode as well. Especially the fact that the prequel trilogy never figured into the guys’ Star Wars tradition. Because really, we’d all be better off pretending that the prequel trilogy never existed. It was fun to see how Ted, Marshall, and Barney’s hopes and dreams evolved over twelve years, and surprisingly, by the end of the episode, it was Barney who showed the most growth of all. I always like stories that make sure Barney acts like a human being instead of a cartoon, so I appreciated the character growth for sure. This episode was rather light on plot, but the fun concept and characterization made up for that to me.
The show’s rather amusing cold open takes place in the apartment across the street from Barney and Quinn. The husband of a couple who lives in that apartment has been obsessing with Barney walking outside, taking a few steps away from the front door, and smiling at the exact same time each night. We then cut to MacLaren, where the group wants to know how living with Quinn is going. Barney first tries to say it’s great, then he backtracks and admits it’s bad. He just doesn’t know how to share his living space. He feels like he has to go outside to fart, and he and Quinn got into an argument about whose coffee mugs to use. Quinn sold all of her stuff but her coffee mugs, but Barney still wants to use his own coffee mugs. Barney tells Robin and Lily that he took the coffee mug stand because he needed to “assert his dominance,” and Robin and Lily tell him to never say that to any woman ever. Barney, feeling outnumbered, retreats to Ted’s apartment, where Ted and Marshall agree that talking about “asserting dominance” was a really bad idea. Barney is about to leave when Ted says he should stay because it’s Trilogy Time.
We flash back to Wesleyan in 2000 to see the inception of Trilogy Time. Ted and Marshall were procrastinating studying for an econ test, and Trilogy Time was born. They made a promise to watch the entire Star Wars trilogy together every three years. Before starting to watch A New Hope, Ted and Marshall imagine what their lives will be like in 2003. They are both successful, Marshall as a rich lawyer and Ted designing sky scrapers. Lily is married to Marshall and pregnant with their first child, and the three of them live in an apartment together and sleep in adult-sized bunk beds. Ted has a crunchy granola musician girlfriend named Rhiannon (who we see looks like Robin in Ted’s imagination). Oh and they’re all awesome musicians and play in a band together.
The real 2003 is quite different from how Marshall and Ted imagined it. Instead of practicing law, Marshall is managing a Structure clothing store because he hasn’t been able to get into law school yet. They can barely afford their apartment, and Lily and Marshall aren’t married yet. But they’ve added Barney to the group. Before watching the Trilogy, they imagine what their lives will be like in 2006. They’re all super rich and speak with British accents. They’re quite fancy in general, and Marshall is an environmental lawyer. Oh, and Barney is the same as he always is. He makes a joke where he tells the guys that they’ll be seeing a lot of his newest girlfriend, and when she leaves, he says, “and they never saw her again.”
Again, the real 2006 is nothing like they imagined. The guys are both somewhat more successful career-wise than they were in 2006, since Ted has his good job at an architecture firm and Marshall’s in law school. Ted is dating Robin, and Lily has left Marshall to move to San Francisco. Marshall is still not taking Lily’s absence well at all. They imagine their lives in 2009 very similar to how they imagined their lives in 2006 back in 2003. Marshall’s still British and fancy, and Robin’s a sort-of Mad Men-style housewife. Ted tries to say Lily has returned and is pregnant with Marshall’s baby, but Marshall adjusts the story so she’s pregnant by a douchebag who wears a trucker hat. Barney pulls the same “and they never saw her again” joke, but this time, he’s invented “back boobs” and his lady has some.
We know how the gang was in the real 2009. Marshall and Lily are back together and married, and Ted’s gone through his losing his job/getting left at the altar drama. Barney has told the guys he’s at “decoupage” class, but he’s actually banging Robin on the downlow. Barney and Robin are much more fun in this clip than they were in actual 2009. Because Barney is supposed to be out, Ted and Marshall want to watch the Trilogy on his good TV. But Barney is at home, of course. He has to quick get dressed, and Robin hides in Barney’s Stormtrooper suit. Which was hilarious. She listens to the guys talking and breaks a lamp when Barney tells the same “and they never saw her again” bit. Ted says that if he’s not married by 2012, something is seriously wrong with him.
Returning to 2012, we know that something is “wrong” with Ted in the sense that he’s not yet married. Ted imagines a horrible 2015 where he’s a bald hoarder who calls the frozen dinner comment line for companionship. His friends are all out yachting, and Robin is married to the douchebag in the trucker hat. Ted starts to add in the usual Barney story, but this time Barney asks for a correction. He doesn’t want that anymore, and he leaves the apartment to go spend time with Quinn. He starts breaking his own coffee mugs to show Quinn that he’s willing to accept her. Then they fart in front of each other. It’s the grossest attempt at a romantic moment I’ve ever seen on TV, and it did nothing for me. Ted tells us that 2012 was the only time he imagined a more bleak future. After that, things got better. We see the real 2015 where Ted has an infant daughter, and the guys all seem happy. And a sweet ending is kind of ruined by a stupid tag of Barney banging Quinn while Quinn is wearing the Stormtrooper suit.
-Marshall
“Trilogy Time” was one of the more unique episodes of HIMYM that I’ve seen in a while. It really took full advantage of the show’s tendency to play with time and perception. I enjoyed the creativity that went into the flashbacks and the characters’ imagined futures. And I enjoyed the large role that “Star Wars” played in the episode as well. Especially the fact that the prequel trilogy never figured into the guys’ Star Wars tradition. Because really, we’d all be better off pretending that the prequel trilogy never existed. It was fun to see how Ted, Marshall, and Barney’s hopes and dreams evolved over twelve years, and surprisingly, by the end of the episode, it was Barney who showed the most growth of all. I always like stories that make sure Barney acts like a human being instead of a cartoon, so I appreciated the character growth for sure. This episode was rather light on plot, but the fun concept and characterization made up for that to me.
The show’s rather amusing cold open takes place in the apartment across the street from Barney and Quinn. The husband of a couple who lives in that apartment has been obsessing with Barney walking outside, taking a few steps away from the front door, and smiling at the exact same time each night. We then cut to MacLaren, where the group wants to know how living with Quinn is going. Barney first tries to say it’s great, then he backtracks and admits it’s bad. He just doesn’t know how to share his living space. He feels like he has to go outside to fart, and he and Quinn got into an argument about whose coffee mugs to use. Quinn sold all of her stuff but her coffee mugs, but Barney still wants to use his own coffee mugs. Barney tells Robin and Lily that he took the coffee mug stand because he needed to “assert his dominance,” and Robin and Lily tell him to never say that to any woman ever. Barney, feeling outnumbered, retreats to Ted’s apartment, where Ted and Marshall agree that talking about “asserting dominance” was a really bad idea. Barney is about to leave when Ted says he should stay because it’s Trilogy Time.
We flash back to Wesleyan in 2000 to see the inception of Trilogy Time. Ted and Marshall were procrastinating studying for an econ test, and Trilogy Time was born. They made a promise to watch the entire Star Wars trilogy together every three years. Before starting to watch A New Hope, Ted and Marshall imagine what their lives will be like in 2003. They are both successful, Marshall as a rich lawyer and Ted designing sky scrapers. Lily is married to Marshall and pregnant with their first child, and the three of them live in an apartment together and sleep in adult-sized bunk beds. Ted has a crunchy granola musician girlfriend named Rhiannon (who we see looks like Robin in Ted’s imagination). Oh and they’re all awesome musicians and play in a band together.
The real 2003 is quite different from how Marshall and Ted imagined it. Instead of practicing law, Marshall is managing a Structure clothing store because he hasn’t been able to get into law school yet. They can barely afford their apartment, and Lily and Marshall aren’t married yet. But they’ve added Barney to the group. Before watching the Trilogy, they imagine what their lives will be like in 2006. They’re all super rich and speak with British accents. They’re quite fancy in general, and Marshall is an environmental lawyer. Oh, and Barney is the same as he always is. He makes a joke where he tells the guys that they’ll be seeing a lot of his newest girlfriend, and when she leaves, he says, “and they never saw her again.”
Again, the real 2006 is nothing like they imagined. The guys are both somewhat more successful career-wise than they were in 2006, since Ted has his good job at an architecture firm and Marshall’s in law school. Ted is dating Robin, and Lily has left Marshall to move to San Francisco. Marshall is still not taking Lily’s absence well at all. They imagine their lives in 2009 very similar to how they imagined their lives in 2006 back in 2003. Marshall’s still British and fancy, and Robin’s a sort-of Mad Men-style housewife. Ted tries to say Lily has returned and is pregnant with Marshall’s baby, but Marshall adjusts the story so she’s pregnant by a douchebag who wears a trucker hat. Barney pulls the same “and they never saw her again” joke, but this time, he’s invented “back boobs” and his lady has some.
We know how the gang was in the real 2009. Marshall and Lily are back together and married, and Ted’s gone through his losing his job/getting left at the altar drama. Barney has told the guys he’s at “decoupage” class, but he’s actually banging Robin on the downlow. Barney and Robin are much more fun in this clip than they were in actual 2009. Because Barney is supposed to be out, Ted and Marshall want to watch the Trilogy on his good TV. But Barney is at home, of course. He has to quick get dressed, and Robin hides in Barney’s Stormtrooper suit. Which was hilarious. She listens to the guys talking and breaks a lamp when Barney tells the same “and they never saw her again” bit. Ted says that if he’s not married by 2012, something is seriously wrong with him.
Returning to 2012, we know that something is “wrong” with Ted in the sense that he’s not yet married. Ted imagines a horrible 2015 where he’s a bald hoarder who calls the frozen dinner comment line for companionship. His friends are all out yachting, and Robin is married to the douchebag in the trucker hat. Ted starts to add in the usual Barney story, but this time Barney asks for a correction. He doesn’t want that anymore, and he leaves the apartment to go spend time with Quinn. He starts breaking his own coffee mugs to show Quinn that he’s willing to accept her. Then they fart in front of each other. It’s the grossest attempt at a romantic moment I’ve ever seen on TV, and it did nothing for me. Ted tells us that 2012 was the only time he imagined a more bleak future. After that, things got better. We see the real 2015 where Ted has an infant daughter, and the guys all seem happy. And a sweet ending is kind of ruined by a stupid tag of Barney banging Quinn while Quinn is wearing the Stormtrooper suit.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Game of Thrones 2.02: "The Night Lands"
“I’m not Ned Stark. I understand the way this game is played.”
-Tyrion
Watching “The Night Lands,” I learned that there are certain wells that George R.R. Martin (and subsequently tv series creators David Bennioff and D.B. Weiss) like to go to quite often in their storytelling. And one of those is incest. This is the first episode that squicked me out on that front as much as the series pilot did. The second is Theon being an ass. He treats women horribly- pretty much as his own personal playthings. It’s rather disgusting. That being said, with a couple scenes excepted, I really enjoyed being back in Westeros again (I’ve taken a few weeks in between watching episodes one and two of this season to catch up on some other blog-related stuff). The show is very immersive overall, and that’s part of what makes it fun to watch. Tyrion continued to show how he’s going to handle King’s Landing with bravado, and we learned a bit more about what makes the messed-up Lannister family dynamic tick. We didn’t see Robb at all in this episode, which was a little disappointing (Jon Snow emo-ing it up can’t quite match the pretty that is Richard Madden), but his presence was very much felt in the episode because many of the characters were reacting to the plans and demands he made in the season premiere. All in all, while I wouldn’t place this episode among the very best of the series, with the exception of a couple scenes, it was an enjoyable watch.
The episode opens with Arya, Gendry, and Yoren and the rest of the soon-to-be Night’s Watch crew on their way to the Wall. The group is stopped by some Goldcloaks, and Arya, who is hanging out with Gendry, immediately assumes that they’re after her. She tries to hide, raising Gendry’s suspicions. It turns out they’re actually after Gendry, though, as part of the “Kill All of Robert’s Bastards Tour,” which makes Arya a little confused. Yoren saves the day by being completely badass and threatening the leader of the Goldcloaks with a knife to the femoral artery. The leader of the Goldcloaks rounds his men up to leave, but he also threatens to return with more soldiers. Later, Arya and Gendry question each other and trade secrets about why the Goldcloaks are after them. It turns out Gendry has no clue why death keeps following him, but he does warn Arya that anybody who asks questions about his background seems to end up dead, including her own father. Gendry’s reaction to finding out that Arya is actually nobility is rather amusing. He tries to treat her like a lady, and she ends up pushing him. After that, he just goes back to making fun of her.
At King’s Landing, all the same-old, same-old political intrigue is going down, just with slightly different players from last season. Tyrion returns to his chambers to find that Varys is talking with Shae. Varys is one of the slimiest of the slimy in King’s Landing (maybe tied with Littlefinger for that honor), so this can’t be good news for Tyrion. Varys makes it clear, in an innocently threatening manner, that he knows Shae isn’t supposed to be in King’s Landing- Tywin has forbidden it. Tyrion and Varys end up trading the typical King’s Landing threats back and forth on the way to a Small Council meeting. I do find Tyrion trading threats jab for jab a bit more entertaining than Ned’s noble effort to stay above all that. At Small Council, Cersei reads and then tears up Robb’s list of demands over Tyrion’s protest (Tyrion thinks they should at least give the Starks Ned’s remains if nothing else…gotta keep it classy). Tyrion then reads a letter from Lord Commander Mormont about the recent White Walker attack up at Castle Black. The letter is a request for more men to defend the Wall, and Tyrion, having seen the conditions, agrees with it. Nobody else takes it seriously, though, even with the new threat of the “King Beyond the Wall.”
One area in which Tyrion is really able to assert some power is with the City Watch. I guess he was getting fed up with the Small Council leaches just trying to keep getting what’s theirs, so he takes matters into his own hands. Tyrion invites the commander of the City Watch (who Joffrey has made a Lord) for dinner, then he unceremoniously banishes him to the Wall and installs Bronn as the new City Watch commander. Cersei is extremely pissed about this, and they have a rather heated argument later in the episode. Tyrion thinks Cersei needs to do some damage control on the whole killing babies thing. The people aren’t likely to support a Queen Regent who kills babies for much longer. Through the conversation, Tyrion realizes it was Joffrey who gave the orders for the Kill Robert’s Bastards murder spree. It’s a good thing Tyrion is in King’s Landing. Somebody needed to take control of that sociopath. The argument continues, and we learn from Cersei that their mother died giving birth to Tyrion. Now I guess we know why the rest of the Lannisters (except maybe Jaime, who is too dumb to really care) just barely tolerate him.
We take a quick visit to the Red Waste to see that Dany and her crew are even worse off than they were in the season premiere. Most of the horde is sitting around, dehydrated and hallucinating, waiting for the riders to return with reconnaissance. A horse does return alright, but all that’s left of the rider is his head. Dany vows vengeance on whoever killed one of her bloodriders. Ser Jorah thinks it was a rival Khal who doesn’t think a woman should lead a Khalessar. Meanwhile, Dany’s lead servant sees the head and wails uncontrollably. I wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean. Was the servant having some sort of relationship with the bloodrider, or was she just that unhinged? I guess it was meant to lend the scene some dramatic gravitas without undermining Dany’s toughness by making her the one who cries.
The one plot of this episode that I really couldn’t stand was Theon finally getting his Iron Islands homecoming after nine years with the Starks in Winterfell. We first see Theon on a ship approaching the Iron Islands, and since this is “Game of Thrones” and the character involved is Theon, there is of course a naked woman in his cabin and it’s Iron Islands sexposition time. And of course Theon treats said naked woman like dirt. We quick transition from that sexpostition to some sort-of sexpostion at one of Petyr’s brothels. We have to see him peaking in on a few clients, of course, before one client’s complaint draws him away. The whore he has hired just keeps crying. It turns out she’s very upset about the babykilling that happened in the last episode, because the baby’s mother was one of her friends. Petyr threatens her with the story of what he did to another whore who didn’t make him enough money.
Theon arrives at an Iron Islands harbor and needs a ride to Pyke (his dad’s keep, I assume). He tries to bribe an old dockhand, but a woman offers him a ride on her horse instead. And of course Theon gropes her the whole way there. Not only was it gross, but it seems kind of unsafe. How is she supposed to concentrate on directing her horse when there’s a hand down her pants? Theon finally gets to Pyke, and his dad, Balon, doesn’t seem too happy to see him. Balon thinks that the Starks have made Theon forget who he truly is. Theon delivers Robb’s proposal for an alliance (which involves making Balon King of the Iron Islands), but Balon just throws it in the fire. The woman with the horse just walks into the room, and Theon is confused until he realizes that she’s Yara, his sister. And that’s when an already gross situation got even more gross. What the heck is it with this show/series and incest! Balon says that Yara, not Theon, will lead the next attack, and that attack won’t necessarily be against the Lannisters.
We next head to Dragonstone, where Davos and his son are negotiating with a pirate, Salladhor Saan, to help with the invasion of King’s Landing on behalf of Stannis. Saan says he’ll help if he’s guaranteed to be allowed to rape Queen Cersei. Lovely guy, right? Davos balks at this, and they end up reaching an agreement that doesn’t promise sex with Cersei but doesn’t exactly forbid it either. As they leave the meeting, Davos and his son talk about religion. Davos’ son is very into the whole “Lord of Light” thing, but Davos’ only god is Stannis. Later, Stannis and his advisors have a strategy meeting for the upcoming invasion. Melisandre barges in, and everyone but Stannis feels compelled to leave. For some reason, Melisandre really wants the unhappily married Stannis to have sex with her. At first he refuses, but then she whispers in his ear that she’ll give him a son, and all of a sudden he starts tearing her clothes off. I think the whisper has some magic to it. She had already whispered in the ear of Davos’ son as he was leaving the strategy meeting.
Finally, we also pay a visit North of the Wall. The Night’s Watch is still staying at crazy incest-dude (yes, more incest…seriously…) Craster’s place. Ghost threatens Gilly, one of Craster’s daughter-wives, and Sam rescues her. He then takes Gilly to see Jon because Gilly is pregnant and afraid. She wants the Night’s Watch to smuggle her out of Craster’s compound because something bad will happen to her baby if it’s a boy. Jon, who is still being all emo, says “no,” and Gilly runs off upset. Later, Jon is emo-ing it up outside at night when he sees Craster walk by holding a baby boy. Jon follows, and he starts to hear the baby cry. It’s been left for some creature that looks sort-of, but not quite human. Jon is taking in the horror when all of a sudden Craster sneaks up on him and knocks him out.
-Tyrion
Watching “The Night Lands,” I learned that there are certain wells that George R.R. Martin (and subsequently tv series creators David Bennioff and D.B. Weiss) like to go to quite often in their storytelling. And one of those is incest. This is the first episode that squicked me out on that front as much as the series pilot did. The second is Theon being an ass. He treats women horribly- pretty much as his own personal playthings. It’s rather disgusting. That being said, with a couple scenes excepted, I really enjoyed being back in Westeros again (I’ve taken a few weeks in between watching episodes one and two of this season to catch up on some other blog-related stuff). The show is very immersive overall, and that’s part of what makes it fun to watch. Tyrion continued to show how he’s going to handle King’s Landing with bravado, and we learned a bit more about what makes the messed-up Lannister family dynamic tick. We didn’t see Robb at all in this episode, which was a little disappointing (Jon Snow emo-ing it up can’t quite match the pretty that is Richard Madden), but his presence was very much felt in the episode because many of the characters were reacting to the plans and demands he made in the season premiere. All in all, while I wouldn’t place this episode among the very best of the series, with the exception of a couple scenes, it was an enjoyable watch.
The episode opens with Arya, Gendry, and Yoren and the rest of the soon-to-be Night’s Watch crew on their way to the Wall. The group is stopped by some Goldcloaks, and Arya, who is hanging out with Gendry, immediately assumes that they’re after her. She tries to hide, raising Gendry’s suspicions. It turns out they’re actually after Gendry, though, as part of the “Kill All of Robert’s Bastards Tour,” which makes Arya a little confused. Yoren saves the day by being completely badass and threatening the leader of the Goldcloaks with a knife to the femoral artery. The leader of the Goldcloaks rounds his men up to leave, but he also threatens to return with more soldiers. Later, Arya and Gendry question each other and trade secrets about why the Goldcloaks are after them. It turns out Gendry has no clue why death keeps following him, but he does warn Arya that anybody who asks questions about his background seems to end up dead, including her own father. Gendry’s reaction to finding out that Arya is actually nobility is rather amusing. He tries to treat her like a lady, and she ends up pushing him. After that, he just goes back to making fun of her.
At King’s Landing, all the same-old, same-old political intrigue is going down, just with slightly different players from last season. Tyrion returns to his chambers to find that Varys is talking with Shae. Varys is one of the slimiest of the slimy in King’s Landing (maybe tied with Littlefinger for that honor), so this can’t be good news for Tyrion. Varys makes it clear, in an innocently threatening manner, that he knows Shae isn’t supposed to be in King’s Landing- Tywin has forbidden it. Tyrion and Varys end up trading the typical King’s Landing threats back and forth on the way to a Small Council meeting. I do find Tyrion trading threats jab for jab a bit more entertaining than Ned’s noble effort to stay above all that. At Small Council, Cersei reads and then tears up Robb’s list of demands over Tyrion’s protest (Tyrion thinks they should at least give the Starks Ned’s remains if nothing else…gotta keep it classy). Tyrion then reads a letter from Lord Commander Mormont about the recent White Walker attack up at Castle Black. The letter is a request for more men to defend the Wall, and Tyrion, having seen the conditions, agrees with it. Nobody else takes it seriously, though, even with the new threat of the “King Beyond the Wall.”
One area in which Tyrion is really able to assert some power is with the City Watch. I guess he was getting fed up with the Small Council leaches just trying to keep getting what’s theirs, so he takes matters into his own hands. Tyrion invites the commander of the City Watch (who Joffrey has made a Lord) for dinner, then he unceremoniously banishes him to the Wall and installs Bronn as the new City Watch commander. Cersei is extremely pissed about this, and they have a rather heated argument later in the episode. Tyrion thinks Cersei needs to do some damage control on the whole killing babies thing. The people aren’t likely to support a Queen Regent who kills babies for much longer. Through the conversation, Tyrion realizes it was Joffrey who gave the orders for the Kill Robert’s Bastards murder spree. It’s a good thing Tyrion is in King’s Landing. Somebody needed to take control of that sociopath. The argument continues, and we learn from Cersei that their mother died giving birth to Tyrion. Now I guess we know why the rest of the Lannisters (except maybe Jaime, who is too dumb to really care) just barely tolerate him.
We take a quick visit to the Red Waste to see that Dany and her crew are even worse off than they were in the season premiere. Most of the horde is sitting around, dehydrated and hallucinating, waiting for the riders to return with reconnaissance. A horse does return alright, but all that’s left of the rider is his head. Dany vows vengeance on whoever killed one of her bloodriders. Ser Jorah thinks it was a rival Khal who doesn’t think a woman should lead a Khalessar. Meanwhile, Dany’s lead servant sees the head and wails uncontrollably. I wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean. Was the servant having some sort of relationship with the bloodrider, or was she just that unhinged? I guess it was meant to lend the scene some dramatic gravitas without undermining Dany’s toughness by making her the one who cries.
The one plot of this episode that I really couldn’t stand was Theon finally getting his Iron Islands homecoming after nine years with the Starks in Winterfell. We first see Theon on a ship approaching the Iron Islands, and since this is “Game of Thrones” and the character involved is Theon, there is of course a naked woman in his cabin and it’s Iron Islands sexposition time. And of course Theon treats said naked woman like dirt. We quick transition from that sexpostition to some sort-of sexpostion at one of Petyr’s brothels. We have to see him peaking in on a few clients, of course, before one client’s complaint draws him away. The whore he has hired just keeps crying. It turns out she’s very upset about the babykilling that happened in the last episode, because the baby’s mother was one of her friends. Petyr threatens her with the story of what he did to another whore who didn’t make him enough money.
Theon arrives at an Iron Islands harbor and needs a ride to Pyke (his dad’s keep, I assume). He tries to bribe an old dockhand, but a woman offers him a ride on her horse instead. And of course Theon gropes her the whole way there. Not only was it gross, but it seems kind of unsafe. How is she supposed to concentrate on directing her horse when there’s a hand down her pants? Theon finally gets to Pyke, and his dad, Balon, doesn’t seem too happy to see him. Balon thinks that the Starks have made Theon forget who he truly is. Theon delivers Robb’s proposal for an alliance (which involves making Balon King of the Iron Islands), but Balon just throws it in the fire. The woman with the horse just walks into the room, and Theon is confused until he realizes that she’s Yara, his sister. And that’s when an already gross situation got even more gross. What the heck is it with this show/series and incest! Balon says that Yara, not Theon, will lead the next attack, and that attack won’t necessarily be against the Lannisters.
We next head to Dragonstone, where Davos and his son are negotiating with a pirate, Salladhor Saan, to help with the invasion of King’s Landing on behalf of Stannis. Saan says he’ll help if he’s guaranteed to be allowed to rape Queen Cersei. Lovely guy, right? Davos balks at this, and they end up reaching an agreement that doesn’t promise sex with Cersei but doesn’t exactly forbid it either. As they leave the meeting, Davos and his son talk about religion. Davos’ son is very into the whole “Lord of Light” thing, but Davos’ only god is Stannis. Later, Stannis and his advisors have a strategy meeting for the upcoming invasion. Melisandre barges in, and everyone but Stannis feels compelled to leave. For some reason, Melisandre really wants the unhappily married Stannis to have sex with her. At first he refuses, but then she whispers in his ear that she’ll give him a son, and all of a sudden he starts tearing her clothes off. I think the whisper has some magic to it. She had already whispered in the ear of Davos’ son as he was leaving the strategy meeting.
Finally, we also pay a visit North of the Wall. The Night’s Watch is still staying at crazy incest-dude (yes, more incest…seriously…) Craster’s place. Ghost threatens Gilly, one of Craster’s daughter-wives, and Sam rescues her. He then takes Gilly to see Jon because Gilly is pregnant and afraid. She wants the Night’s Watch to smuggle her out of Craster’s compound because something bad will happen to her baby if it’s a boy. Jon, who is still being all emo, says “no,” and Gilly runs off upset. Later, Jon is emo-ing it up outside at night when he sees Craster walk by holding a baby boy. Jon follows, and he starts to hear the baby cry. It’s been left for some creature that looks sort-of, but not quite human. Jon is taking in the horror when all of a sudden Craster sneaks up on him and knocks him out.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Fringe 4.17: "Everything in its Right Place"
“Your team may toil away in secret over there, but over here? You’re heroes.”
-Alt-livia
It’s been quite a while since we’ve had a real “Other Side” focused episode of “Fringe.” Now that the Red crew isn’t evil, I think I enjoy trips to the Other Side more than I did last season. This Alt-livia hasn’t deceived Peter into cheating on Olivia, after all. And the Red Universe characters, despite having lived a more hardscrabble existence, don’t seem quite as morose as their Blue/Amber counterparts. The most morose of all the Blue/Amber folks is Lincoln, especially since Peter stepped in and kind of ruined any chance he had with Olivia, and fittingly, Lincoln starts to find himself and his confidence on a trip to the Other Side. I’m not sure how I feel about Lincoln finding his place on the Other Side, though, since the show has pretty much re-shifted focus to our universe. I’d miss seeing Seth Gabel on the show regularly, even if Amber Lincoln isn’t as entertaining as Alt-Lincoln. So yeah, overall, this episode was a pleasant surprise for me. It was very entertaining and engaging despite being set almost entirely on the Other Side. With that said, on with the post!
We begin the episode in the Amber/Blue universe, where it’s “Grazing Day” at the lab. As Peter explains it to Lincoln, Grazing Day is when the team takes Gene to her favorite pasture because Walter is convinced that she has Seasonal Affective Disorder. This is rather hilarious, but Lincoln is acting rather mopey because of how family-like the rest of the team is acting. He’s even more depressed when Olivia gives him a pendant of his that she found in her apartment. It was originally given to him by his former FBI partner and symbolized finding a home after being transient. Lincoln had subsequently given it to Olivia, but since her memories were switched up, she doesn’t remember that anymore. Astrid arrives carrying boxes of documents and informs the team that she had to cancel a family obligation because she’s supposed to give the Other Side Fringe crew a briefing on David Robert Jones. Lincoln offers to do the briefing instead, and Broyles reluctantly agrees.
On the other side, we see a shady guy with a knife try to attack a woman in a parking garage at night. Something even scarier (we can only see the shadow) attacks the man before he can hurt the woman, though. And we have our case of the week. Meanwhile, Lincoln crosses to the Other Side at the bridge, and Alt-livia says he’s going to have to give his David Robert Jones briefing on the move because they have a case (the one from the parking garage). As they drive towards the crime scene, we learn that conditions have been improving on the Other Side ever since the bridge was created. We see them drive past one particular sector of New York City that is being reopened because the atmosphere has improved. Alt-livia tricks Lincoln into telling her his middle name (Tyrone), which she later uses against Alt-Lincoln, who hates his middle name and had refused to say what it was. It was an amusing little sequence. As Alt-livia and Lincoln arrive on the scene, we learn that there’s a vigilante on the loose, but this is the first time he/she has left a body behind. And it’s really gross and kind of half-decomposed.
Over in the district that is scheduled to be reopened, we see a guy who looks like the original attacker open up a wallet and look at the photo of a little boy. So it’s pretty apparent now that the vigilante is some form of shapeshifter. He is interrupted by two guys in haz mat suits who appear to have something to do with reopening the district. The atmospheric readings they’ve been taking look good, so they take off their masks. They are, however, getting high readings of tissue organics from a nearby church. They investigate and find the bodies of the rest of the people the vigilante has killed. This makes the Fringe Division case heat up, obviously, so Alt-livia tells Lincoln he can go home until they’re freed up. But Lincoln wants to stay. A soldier comes up to Lincoln and thanks him, and Alt-livia explains that the Blue/Amber Fringe team are heroes for healing the Other Side. It’s clear that Lincoln is starting to think that he might be where he really belongs.
The vigilante shapeshifter, whose name turns out to be Canaan, shows up at a soup kitchen. The nice lady running the place (or a social worker or something) offers to find him shelter and invites him to sit down and eat. Canaan is rather contentedly eating when one of the other homeless guys says there’s something on his neck. Canaan panics and runs away. Back in the newly reopened zone, Lincoln is checking out the basement of bodies, and he notices puncture wounds in the mouth of one of the victims. He also finds a locket with a photo of the victim. Back at Fringe HQ, Lincoln has some tests run to see if that particular victim appeared after her time of death. While waiting for the results, Lincoln and Alt-Lincoln start comparing their histories. Their lives were identical through high school, which is odd considering the significant difference in their personalities. The tests show that the victim did appear on CCTV after her death, and Lincoln reveals that he thinks the vigilante is an original recipe (not the new, sophisticated kind) shapeshifter. The team informs Colonel Broyles, who is skeptical and gets rather nasty about it. Most likely because he’s in league with Evil!Nina and David Robert Jones.
We next see a crack house, where two junkies are shooting up. One gets up to use the bathroom, and he gets attacked by Canaan. Canaan has some sort of umbilical cord-looking thing attached to his mouth that makes the transfer instead of the metal device used by the original recipe shapeshifters. So he’s a sort of transition stage. The Fringe team gets word of the latest attack, and Lincoln convinces them to look for someone matching the description of the victim, even though Colonel Broyles seems pretty dead set against investigating the shapeshifter angle. They find their target, and the team is quickly in pursuit. While they’re looking for him, the Lincolns talk over the comm system about where their paths diverged (they never do figure it out), and Alt-livia makes fun of them for it. Lincoln finds Canaan and runs after him. Canaan almost gets away from Lincoln, but Alt-Lincoln and some backup make the save. Colonel Broyles tells Alt-Astrid to relay congratulations to the team, then he runs and calls Evil!Nina, who says her team will take care of the situation.
The team has Canaan in a holding cell, and Lincoln asks Alt-livia for five minutes to talk to him. Because Lincoln’s FBI partner was killed by a shapeshifter, he wants to learn everything he can about them. He asks Alt-livia how she would feel if Alt-Lincoln died, and Alt-livia reluctantly agrees to let Lincoln have his time with Canaan. Meanwhile, a sniper working for Evil!Nina starts setting up. Lincoln is able to get Canaan to talk by showing him the picture of the little boy. It’s Canaan’s ex-girlfriend’s son. After he and the ex broke up, Canaa was approached by David Robert Jones. Canaan was feeling disconnected from the world (much like Lincoln…subtle much?), and he thought he needed to become a better person to have a place in the world, so he agreed to Jones’ experiments. He won’t, however, give up Jones’ location. As the team moves Canaan out of the building and towards a van, the sniper strikes. Alt-Lincoln is hit, but Alt-livia manages to take down the sniper with a crack shot. Alt-Lincoln says he’ll be okay, but Lincoln goes to confront Canaan. He tells Canaan that it’s time to choose whether he’s going to define himself or keep protecting Jones.
The sniper appears to return to Evil!Nina at shapeshifter Hq, but it turns out he’s actually Canaan. Canaan has used his new identity to override the facility’s security protocols, and the Fringe team is able to apprehend Evil!Nina. At Fringe HQ, a rather upset Astrid tells Broyles she has something to report, and this is the first hint that things have gone horribly wrong. At shapeshifter HQ, Alt-livia and Lincoln are having a little fun speculating how they can use the massive amount of information in the building to take down Jones. Then Alt-livia gets the news that Alt-Lincoln has died. She runs off, extremely shaken and upset. My reaction to this was pretty much just “damn.” I’ll miss Alt-Lincoln for sure. I think his shining moment was when he helped Alt-livia deliver Henry in last season’s episode “Bloodline.” I really believed his love for Alt-livia in that one. It’s too bad he never got to experience her reciprocating that love. Lincoln ends up taking Canaan across the bridge to our Fringe team so Walter can study…er…help him, then he returns to the Other Side. Alt-livia is going through Alt-Lincoln’s stuff, and she’s still visibly upset when Lincoln appears. Lincoln says he’s going to be sticking around for a while, and Alt-livia seems oddly comforted by that. It’s clear that what made Alt-Lincoln so confident compared to our Lincoln was knowing Olivia longer. Kind of sweet sentiment, I think.
-Alt-livia
It’s been quite a while since we’ve had a real “Other Side” focused episode of “Fringe.” Now that the Red crew isn’t evil, I think I enjoy trips to the Other Side more than I did last season. This Alt-livia hasn’t deceived Peter into cheating on Olivia, after all. And the Red Universe characters, despite having lived a more hardscrabble existence, don’t seem quite as morose as their Blue/Amber counterparts. The most morose of all the Blue/Amber folks is Lincoln, especially since Peter stepped in and kind of ruined any chance he had with Olivia, and fittingly, Lincoln starts to find himself and his confidence on a trip to the Other Side. I’m not sure how I feel about Lincoln finding his place on the Other Side, though, since the show has pretty much re-shifted focus to our universe. I’d miss seeing Seth Gabel on the show regularly, even if Amber Lincoln isn’t as entertaining as Alt-Lincoln. So yeah, overall, this episode was a pleasant surprise for me. It was very entertaining and engaging despite being set almost entirely on the Other Side. With that said, on with the post!
We begin the episode in the Amber/Blue universe, where it’s “Grazing Day” at the lab. As Peter explains it to Lincoln, Grazing Day is when the team takes Gene to her favorite pasture because Walter is convinced that she has Seasonal Affective Disorder. This is rather hilarious, but Lincoln is acting rather mopey because of how family-like the rest of the team is acting. He’s even more depressed when Olivia gives him a pendant of his that she found in her apartment. It was originally given to him by his former FBI partner and symbolized finding a home after being transient. Lincoln had subsequently given it to Olivia, but since her memories were switched up, she doesn’t remember that anymore. Astrid arrives carrying boxes of documents and informs the team that she had to cancel a family obligation because she’s supposed to give the Other Side Fringe crew a briefing on David Robert Jones. Lincoln offers to do the briefing instead, and Broyles reluctantly agrees.
On the other side, we see a shady guy with a knife try to attack a woman in a parking garage at night. Something even scarier (we can only see the shadow) attacks the man before he can hurt the woman, though. And we have our case of the week. Meanwhile, Lincoln crosses to the Other Side at the bridge, and Alt-livia says he’s going to have to give his David Robert Jones briefing on the move because they have a case (the one from the parking garage). As they drive towards the crime scene, we learn that conditions have been improving on the Other Side ever since the bridge was created. We see them drive past one particular sector of New York City that is being reopened because the atmosphere has improved. Alt-livia tricks Lincoln into telling her his middle name (Tyrone), which she later uses against Alt-Lincoln, who hates his middle name and had refused to say what it was. It was an amusing little sequence. As Alt-livia and Lincoln arrive on the scene, we learn that there’s a vigilante on the loose, but this is the first time he/she has left a body behind. And it’s really gross and kind of half-decomposed.
Over in the district that is scheduled to be reopened, we see a guy who looks like the original attacker open up a wallet and look at the photo of a little boy. So it’s pretty apparent now that the vigilante is some form of shapeshifter. He is interrupted by two guys in haz mat suits who appear to have something to do with reopening the district. The atmospheric readings they’ve been taking look good, so they take off their masks. They are, however, getting high readings of tissue organics from a nearby church. They investigate and find the bodies of the rest of the people the vigilante has killed. This makes the Fringe Division case heat up, obviously, so Alt-livia tells Lincoln he can go home until they’re freed up. But Lincoln wants to stay. A soldier comes up to Lincoln and thanks him, and Alt-livia explains that the Blue/Amber Fringe team are heroes for healing the Other Side. It’s clear that Lincoln is starting to think that he might be where he really belongs.
The vigilante shapeshifter, whose name turns out to be Canaan, shows up at a soup kitchen. The nice lady running the place (or a social worker or something) offers to find him shelter and invites him to sit down and eat. Canaan is rather contentedly eating when one of the other homeless guys says there’s something on his neck. Canaan panics and runs away. Back in the newly reopened zone, Lincoln is checking out the basement of bodies, and he notices puncture wounds in the mouth of one of the victims. He also finds a locket with a photo of the victim. Back at Fringe HQ, Lincoln has some tests run to see if that particular victim appeared after her time of death. While waiting for the results, Lincoln and Alt-Lincoln start comparing their histories. Their lives were identical through high school, which is odd considering the significant difference in their personalities. The tests show that the victim did appear on CCTV after her death, and Lincoln reveals that he thinks the vigilante is an original recipe (not the new, sophisticated kind) shapeshifter. The team informs Colonel Broyles, who is skeptical and gets rather nasty about it. Most likely because he’s in league with Evil!Nina and David Robert Jones.
We next see a crack house, where two junkies are shooting up. One gets up to use the bathroom, and he gets attacked by Canaan. Canaan has some sort of umbilical cord-looking thing attached to his mouth that makes the transfer instead of the metal device used by the original recipe shapeshifters. So he’s a sort of transition stage. The Fringe team gets word of the latest attack, and Lincoln convinces them to look for someone matching the description of the victim, even though Colonel Broyles seems pretty dead set against investigating the shapeshifter angle. They find their target, and the team is quickly in pursuit. While they’re looking for him, the Lincolns talk over the comm system about where their paths diverged (they never do figure it out), and Alt-livia makes fun of them for it. Lincoln finds Canaan and runs after him. Canaan almost gets away from Lincoln, but Alt-Lincoln and some backup make the save. Colonel Broyles tells Alt-Astrid to relay congratulations to the team, then he runs and calls Evil!Nina, who says her team will take care of the situation.
The team has Canaan in a holding cell, and Lincoln asks Alt-livia for five minutes to talk to him. Because Lincoln’s FBI partner was killed by a shapeshifter, he wants to learn everything he can about them. He asks Alt-livia how she would feel if Alt-Lincoln died, and Alt-livia reluctantly agrees to let Lincoln have his time with Canaan. Meanwhile, a sniper working for Evil!Nina starts setting up. Lincoln is able to get Canaan to talk by showing him the picture of the little boy. It’s Canaan’s ex-girlfriend’s son. After he and the ex broke up, Canaa was approached by David Robert Jones. Canaan was feeling disconnected from the world (much like Lincoln…subtle much?), and he thought he needed to become a better person to have a place in the world, so he agreed to Jones’ experiments. He won’t, however, give up Jones’ location. As the team moves Canaan out of the building and towards a van, the sniper strikes. Alt-Lincoln is hit, but Alt-livia manages to take down the sniper with a crack shot. Alt-Lincoln says he’ll be okay, but Lincoln goes to confront Canaan. He tells Canaan that it’s time to choose whether he’s going to define himself or keep protecting Jones.
The sniper appears to return to Evil!Nina at shapeshifter Hq, but it turns out he’s actually Canaan. Canaan has used his new identity to override the facility’s security protocols, and the Fringe team is able to apprehend Evil!Nina. At Fringe HQ, a rather upset Astrid tells Broyles she has something to report, and this is the first hint that things have gone horribly wrong. At shapeshifter HQ, Alt-livia and Lincoln are having a little fun speculating how they can use the massive amount of information in the building to take down Jones. Then Alt-livia gets the news that Alt-Lincoln has died. She runs off, extremely shaken and upset. My reaction to this was pretty much just “damn.” I’ll miss Alt-Lincoln for sure. I think his shining moment was when he helped Alt-livia deliver Henry in last season’s episode “Bloodline.” I really believed his love for Alt-livia in that one. It’s too bad he never got to experience her reciprocating that love. Lincoln ends up taking Canaan across the bridge to our Fringe team so Walter can study…er…help him, then he returns to the Other Side. Alt-livia is going through Alt-Lincoln’s stuff, and she’s still visibly upset when Lincoln appears. Lincoln says he’s going to be sticking around for a while, and Alt-livia seems oddly comforted by that. It’s clear that what made Alt-Lincoln so confident compared to our Lincoln was knowing Olivia longer. Kind of sweet sentiment, I think.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Person of Interest 1.19: "Flesh and Blood"
“I’m going to do what you never could. I’m going to unite the Families and take control.”
- Elias
Overall, this week was a very heavy Elias episode. We start with him doing a little voice over on what his life would be like if his mother hadn’t been killed. We next see Carter dropping off her son at school. He’s a little upset about some rich kids picking on him, but he refuses to let his mom get involved. Carter gets a call from a cop in SID (played by Lola Glaudini. I swear she keeps popping up in stuff recently) letting Carter know that Elias has moved all the money in his accounts.
Reese shows up to the library to find Finch putting up 5 pictures; the five heads of the crime families. It looks like Elias is going to take them all out and claim control. Reese is inclined to let it happen, but Finch reminds him of the collateral damage that it would generate. They go to do some surveillance and find that the dons meet in a room with no cameras or cell phones. Finch rigs some of the wiring in the building, though, to act as a microphone, and they overhear the conversation going on inside. Moretti Jr. thinks it is a bad idea to trust Elias (being his half-brother notwithstanding) but the other dons don’t seem too upset. Reese tries to call Carter to apologize and give her an update, but she ignores his call again. She wants to know what Elias is using the money for (he’s made a thousand different payouts), but it’s not that easy to find.
We find Elias bringing his father a sandwich and giving a brief Evil Speech of Evil. But Daddy Moretti isn’t interested. Meanwhile, Reese is going to try the direct approach with one of the dons. The guy’s not interested, and he and his guys get as far as the end of the street in this big SUV before it blows sky high. Not a surprise in the least. There had to be at least one car bomb in the episode or else it wouldn’t be mobsters trying to off each other. Lionel takes a trip out to Queens to meet with his HR contact. Apparently, HR is backing Elias’ play, and he tells Lionel to take some time off the next few days (after he looks into what the Feds know about Reese).
We get our first flashback of the episode to 1981. We find a young Carl Elias with his foster mom in a diner. He got beat up by some kids who were calling him names. He wants to know about his father (he has to do a family tree assignment for school), and his foster mom says he needs to be his own man. Back in 2012, Reese goes after Carter to keep her safe. She’s caught on to Elias’ plan (sort of) and is offering the remaining dons protection. Unfortunately 99% of the squad she’s with is HR and they bail. Don #2 is taken out, but Reese manages to take out the gunman before much else happens. We get another flashback, this time to 1991, where we find Elias working for Moretti. It becomes obvious that Elias figured out who his father is. Daddy isn’t really interested in another son but says that Elias will find his place in the organization.
Back in the present, Carter, Reese, and Finch are having a little pow wow. Carter relays the information about the FBI task force while Finch agrees to use less conventional methods to track down the recipients of Elias’ money. Carter is going to try and convince the three remaining dons to go into protective custody. Reese gives her a bag of high powered assault weapons to protect herself in case he isn’t around next time. Next we see her, she’s packing up the guns into her car and dragging Lionel along as back up. Reese is watching one of the guys on Elias’ payroll, and between him and Finch they realize Elias has people watching the families of HR (you need to have power of your allies in war according to Reese). Elias really is an evil prick.
The three remaining dons are hiding out in their little club when Carter and Lionel bust in and pretty much kidnap the three of them. Carter gets to use her fancy new tech to scare off Elias’ men. Finch gets them to a safe location but there’s still danger lurking. While Elias is monologuing about his mother some more, he gets a message that Carter has the dons. He involves HR and kidnaps Carter’s son in retaliation. Reese catches on and gets to the high school just in time to see Carter’s son being driven away. Reese calls Carter to give her the news, but Elias calls on her son’s phone and gloats a bit. He wants her to trade the dons for her son but she refuses. Reese promises to get her son back and she’s left to stare angrily out the window as more of Elias’ men show up. One of the dons tells her about Lionel’s prior life as a dirty cop, but she obviously thinks he’s just messing with her because he’s a crotchety old mob boss. Before much else can go down between them, Elias shows up and says he wants to talk things out in person.
Finch is working his own connections while Reese is waiting for Carter’s son’s location. He convinces the HR cop that Lionel is chummy with his guys and that severing ties with Elias would be a good idea, and he gets the location of Carter's son as well. Finch can be very convincing when he wants to be. And color photos of the guy’s family (taken by Elias' goons) don’t hurt. Back at the safe house, Elias’ guy starts blow torching the door to get through and we get our last flashback. We find ourselves with Elias and two other guys shortly after the 1991 encounter. They’ve taken Elias out to the woods to kill him, but he gets the upper hand and kills them, but not before declaring he’s going to get rid of all of them.
In the present, Reese and Finch have found Carter’s son’s location, and Reese goes seriously bad ass. He has a thing with people hurting kids. He ends up rescuing Moretti too while he’s there. Carter gets kind of badass herself and shoots one of the dons for pulling a gun on her and Lionel. She starts shooting that fancy gun from Reese again. Lionel’s gone and called for backup that arrives just in time to arrest Elias and his men. So at this point, we’re down to two dons (plus Moretti). Carter is reunited with her son and thanks Reese for keeping his promises. It looks like she might be up to trusting/working with the boys again, and that makes me happy. Elias is finally going to jail but not before making one last phone call to Dad. The car that he and Junior are in doesn’t exactly blow up, but they both die. And then there was one old cranky don. Things are going to get very interesting.
- Elias
Overall, this week was a very heavy Elias episode. We start with him doing a little voice over on what his life would be like if his mother hadn’t been killed. We next see Carter dropping off her son at school. He’s a little upset about some rich kids picking on him, but he refuses to let his mom get involved. Carter gets a call from a cop in SID (played by Lola Glaudini. I swear she keeps popping up in stuff recently) letting Carter know that Elias has moved all the money in his accounts.
Reese shows up to the library to find Finch putting up 5 pictures; the five heads of the crime families. It looks like Elias is going to take them all out and claim control. Reese is inclined to let it happen, but Finch reminds him of the collateral damage that it would generate. They go to do some surveillance and find that the dons meet in a room with no cameras or cell phones. Finch rigs some of the wiring in the building, though, to act as a microphone, and they overhear the conversation going on inside. Moretti Jr. thinks it is a bad idea to trust Elias (being his half-brother notwithstanding) but the other dons don’t seem too upset. Reese tries to call Carter to apologize and give her an update, but she ignores his call again. She wants to know what Elias is using the money for (he’s made a thousand different payouts), but it’s not that easy to find.
We find Elias bringing his father a sandwich and giving a brief Evil Speech of Evil. But Daddy Moretti isn’t interested. Meanwhile, Reese is going to try the direct approach with one of the dons. The guy’s not interested, and he and his guys get as far as the end of the street in this big SUV before it blows sky high. Not a surprise in the least. There had to be at least one car bomb in the episode or else it wouldn’t be mobsters trying to off each other. Lionel takes a trip out to Queens to meet with his HR contact. Apparently, HR is backing Elias’ play, and he tells Lionel to take some time off the next few days (after he looks into what the Feds know about Reese).
We get our first flashback of the episode to 1981. We find a young Carl Elias with his foster mom in a diner. He got beat up by some kids who were calling him names. He wants to know about his father (he has to do a family tree assignment for school), and his foster mom says he needs to be his own man. Back in 2012, Reese goes after Carter to keep her safe. She’s caught on to Elias’ plan (sort of) and is offering the remaining dons protection. Unfortunately 99% of the squad she’s with is HR and they bail. Don #2 is taken out, but Reese manages to take out the gunman before much else happens. We get another flashback, this time to 1991, where we find Elias working for Moretti. It becomes obvious that Elias figured out who his father is. Daddy isn’t really interested in another son but says that Elias will find his place in the organization.
Back in the present, Carter, Reese, and Finch are having a little pow wow. Carter relays the information about the FBI task force while Finch agrees to use less conventional methods to track down the recipients of Elias’ money. Carter is going to try and convince the three remaining dons to go into protective custody. Reese gives her a bag of high powered assault weapons to protect herself in case he isn’t around next time. Next we see her, she’s packing up the guns into her car and dragging Lionel along as back up. Reese is watching one of the guys on Elias’ payroll, and between him and Finch they realize Elias has people watching the families of HR (you need to have power of your allies in war according to Reese). Elias really is an evil prick.
The three remaining dons are hiding out in their little club when Carter and Lionel bust in and pretty much kidnap the three of them. Carter gets to use her fancy new tech to scare off Elias’ men. Finch gets them to a safe location but there’s still danger lurking. While Elias is monologuing about his mother some more, he gets a message that Carter has the dons. He involves HR and kidnaps Carter’s son in retaliation. Reese catches on and gets to the high school just in time to see Carter’s son being driven away. Reese calls Carter to give her the news, but Elias calls on her son’s phone and gloats a bit. He wants her to trade the dons for her son but she refuses. Reese promises to get her son back and she’s left to stare angrily out the window as more of Elias’ men show up. One of the dons tells her about Lionel’s prior life as a dirty cop, but she obviously thinks he’s just messing with her because he’s a crotchety old mob boss. Before much else can go down between them, Elias shows up and says he wants to talk things out in person.
Finch is working his own connections while Reese is waiting for Carter’s son’s location. He convinces the HR cop that Lionel is chummy with his guys and that severing ties with Elias would be a good idea, and he gets the location of Carter's son as well. Finch can be very convincing when he wants to be. And color photos of the guy’s family (taken by Elias' goons) don’t hurt. Back at the safe house, Elias’ guy starts blow torching the door to get through and we get our last flashback. We find ourselves with Elias and two other guys shortly after the 1991 encounter. They’ve taken Elias out to the woods to kill him, but he gets the upper hand and kills them, but not before declaring he’s going to get rid of all of them.
In the present, Reese and Finch have found Carter’s son’s location, and Reese goes seriously bad ass. He has a thing with people hurting kids. He ends up rescuing Moretti too while he’s there. Carter gets kind of badass herself and shoots one of the dons for pulling a gun on her and Lionel. She starts shooting that fancy gun from Reese again. Lionel’s gone and called for backup that arrives just in time to arrest Elias and his men. So at this point, we’re down to two dons (plus Moretti). Carter is reunited with her son and thanks Reese for keeping his promises. It looks like she might be up to trusting/working with the boys again, and that makes me happy. Elias is finally going to jail but not before making one last phone call to Dad. The car that he and Junior are in doesn’t exactly blow up, but they both die. And then there was one old cranky don. Things are going to get very interesting.
Ringer 1.20: "If You're Just an Evil Bitch Then Get Over It"
“And don’t try to fix anything else. Because every time you do, things just get worse.”
-Henry
Ringer is approaching the season endgame, and the action is heating up. Pretty much everybody (including the police) now know that Henry killed Tyler. Bridget and Siobhan came oh so close to seeing each other. We also now know just how seriously evil and messed up Catherine is. I will not be at all sad to see Catherine leave my TV screen (soon, I hope). Oh and Sarah says Catherine “is a horrible human being who deserves to have hear heart ripped out by the Evil Queen.” And she’d be right. Yeah we’re big “Once Upon a Time” fans here at MTVP. So much drama is going down that I really can’t see how this can possibly end well for anyone. By the time all is said and done, I’d expect a couple people to go to jail and a couple people to die. It’s going to be a wild ride for sure. But for now, it’s time to talk about “If You’re Just an Evil Bitch Then Get Over It” in more detail.
The episode opens with a phone call between Andrew and Bridget. Have you ever noticed how much exposition on this show happens in phone calls? Just because you say the dialogue over the phone doesn’t make it showing and not telling. I suppose it’s a step above the “sexposition” on “Game of Thrones,” though. Anyway, Andrew says he’s sorted everything out with Catherine. He’s got his money and she’s going away. Bridget tells Andrew that somebody shot at her again, and she’s at the police station. Andrew is about to go pick up Bridget, but he finds Catherine in the apartment with slit wrists. Idiots. Both of them. Catherine is clearly being manipulative, and Andrew is clearly falling for it hook, line, and sinker.
Andrew and Juliet go to the hospital to see Catherine. Juliet, who is a bit smarter than her dad, I think, tells Catherine that even after pulling a stunt like this, she’s not going to forgive her. Juliet leaves the room, and the doctor tells Andrew that this wasn’t a “tentative” suicide attempt on Catherine’s part. It was the real deal, and she easily could have bled out if Andrew hadn’t found her when she did. Catherine is not going to be released from the hospital unsupervised. So the evil bitch has found a way to worm her way back into the Martin family after all. Juliet, who was listening to this conversation from the next room, looks as if she feels a little guilty, but she really shouldn’t be. Her mom is just as horrid as she thought she was, suicide attempt or not.
Henry’s at the police station as well to talk some more about Tyler’s murder. There’s new evidence from the Soho Diamond that places Henry in Tyler’s room. Specifically, it’s the testimony of the maid who let Henry into Tyler’s room. Henry is booked for the crime (finally). By the time he makes bail and gets home, Henry finds out that CPS has taken his kids. Tim Arbogast, Henry’s oh so lovely former father-in-law, is responsible for both of these unfortunate events. Siobhan feels bad (or appears to feel bad) that Henry is in so much trouble on her account, so she decides to try and “fix” it. By trying to bribe the maid/new star witness. The maid takes the money, and then she goes to the police station and tells the officers that they “have to talk.” Henry, meanwhile, pays a visit to Tim to confront him about, you know, trying to ruin his life. Tim says he’s going to destroy both Henry and Siobhan for making Gemma’s life miserable and then lying to Tim about Martin/Charles. Later, Henry confronts Siobhan about bribing the maid (the police found out about it so it’s going to cause more trouble), and Siobhan is oh so surprised that it didn’t work as planned. Idiot. Maybe she and Andrew were meant for each other after all.
Elsewhere in the city, Bridget meets up with Victor. She tells him she suspects Olivia is behind all the mayhem, thinking that her disappearance looks a lot like her having something to hide. Victor agrees to talk to an FBI buddy about it. Later, at the police station, a detective confronts Bridget about allegedly bribing the maid. Bridget has no clue what’s going on, obviously, since it was the real Siobhan who tried the bribe. Meanwhile, Victor and an FBI colleague go to confront the owner of the dry cleaning shop about running a hit service. He refuses to talk and leaves the meeting. Victor’s next step is to break into the house of the latest hit man to look for evidence. He’s snooping around in the basement, and he finds a body in the freezer. As you do.
Meanwhile, Juliet and Catherine have a chat at the hospital. Catherine is trying to guilt Juliet into continuing to help her by talking about how she just wanted to take everything away from Siobhan. Juliet, who seems to be the only sane person in the Martin household, tells Catherine that if she’s really sick, she hopes she gets better, but otherwise, she needs to get over it. Surprisingly, though, Juliet tells Andrew that she doesn’t want Catherine institutionalized. Instead, she wants Andrew to hire a nurse to take care of Catherine, but for the few days before the nurse can be hired, she wants Catherine to stay at the apartment with them. And Juliet now loses the “Only Sane Person in the Martin Household” award.
Bridget goes to the Butler house because she wants to talk to Henry about the whole bribing the maid thing, and she sees the outline of a woman through the glass in the door. It’s Siobhan, but she thinks it’s the nanny. Henry, of course, arrives home just in time to keep Bridget from seeing Siobhan, and he manages to successfully shoo her away. When Bridget gets home, it’s time for another chat with Victor. He shows her a picture of the body in the freezer, and Bridget reveals that it’s the guy she killed back in the pilot. Bridget also mentions that the burner cell phone which had been connected to the hit was taken from her apartment. She thinks it might have led to whoever ordered the hit. Victor says that the fingerprints from the photograph the hit man used to ID “Siobhan” could lead to the mastermind behind the hit. Catherine’s listening from the next room and looking worried. Of course.
At the episode draws to a close, all sorts of drama goes down. First, Tim confronts Andrew with the flash drive and says that he’s not going to report Martin/Charles to the SEC, but he is going to “save” it. Which can’t possibly be good. Meanwhile, Juliet leaves the apartment to go get stuff from Catherine’s hotel, and Catherine asks Bridget to join her for tea. Bridget reluctantly agrees. I thought she better watch Catherine make that tea very, very carefully, but of course Bridget didn’t heed my advice. Victor gets an e-mail about the fingerprints from the photo, and the photo slowly loads on his computer to build the suspense. It’s Catherine, of course. Big surprise there. Catherine brings in the tea, but she leaves the room because she says she forgot the sugar. Bridget goes to get sugar as Victor tries to call her to warn her about Catherine. Catherine hides Bridget’s phone. Victor rushes out of his apartment when he realizes Bridget isn’t answering. Meanwhile, Bridget has taken a few stupid sips of tea, and she starts to feel the effects of the drugs. She stumbles into another room and sees the mysterious hit man burner phone in Catherine’s purse. Bridget collapses, and Catherine drops pills all around her.
-Henry
Ringer is approaching the season endgame, and the action is heating up. Pretty much everybody (including the police) now know that Henry killed Tyler. Bridget and Siobhan came oh so close to seeing each other. We also now know just how seriously evil and messed up Catherine is. I will not be at all sad to see Catherine leave my TV screen (soon, I hope). Oh and Sarah says Catherine “is a horrible human being who deserves to have hear heart ripped out by the Evil Queen.” And she’d be right. Yeah we’re big “Once Upon a Time” fans here at MTVP. So much drama is going down that I really can’t see how this can possibly end well for anyone. By the time all is said and done, I’d expect a couple people to go to jail and a couple people to die. It’s going to be a wild ride for sure. But for now, it’s time to talk about “If You’re Just an Evil Bitch Then Get Over It” in more detail.
The episode opens with a phone call between Andrew and Bridget. Have you ever noticed how much exposition on this show happens in phone calls? Just because you say the dialogue over the phone doesn’t make it showing and not telling. I suppose it’s a step above the “sexposition” on “Game of Thrones,” though. Anyway, Andrew says he’s sorted everything out with Catherine. He’s got his money and she’s going away. Bridget tells Andrew that somebody shot at her again, and she’s at the police station. Andrew is about to go pick up Bridget, but he finds Catherine in the apartment with slit wrists. Idiots. Both of them. Catherine is clearly being manipulative, and Andrew is clearly falling for it hook, line, and sinker.
Andrew and Juliet go to the hospital to see Catherine. Juliet, who is a bit smarter than her dad, I think, tells Catherine that even after pulling a stunt like this, she’s not going to forgive her. Juliet leaves the room, and the doctor tells Andrew that this wasn’t a “tentative” suicide attempt on Catherine’s part. It was the real deal, and she easily could have bled out if Andrew hadn’t found her when she did. Catherine is not going to be released from the hospital unsupervised. So the evil bitch has found a way to worm her way back into the Martin family after all. Juliet, who was listening to this conversation from the next room, looks as if she feels a little guilty, but she really shouldn’t be. Her mom is just as horrid as she thought she was, suicide attempt or not.
Henry’s at the police station as well to talk some more about Tyler’s murder. There’s new evidence from the Soho Diamond that places Henry in Tyler’s room. Specifically, it’s the testimony of the maid who let Henry into Tyler’s room. Henry is booked for the crime (finally). By the time he makes bail and gets home, Henry finds out that CPS has taken his kids. Tim Arbogast, Henry’s oh so lovely former father-in-law, is responsible for both of these unfortunate events. Siobhan feels bad (or appears to feel bad) that Henry is in so much trouble on her account, so she decides to try and “fix” it. By trying to bribe the maid/new star witness. The maid takes the money, and then she goes to the police station and tells the officers that they “have to talk.” Henry, meanwhile, pays a visit to Tim to confront him about, you know, trying to ruin his life. Tim says he’s going to destroy both Henry and Siobhan for making Gemma’s life miserable and then lying to Tim about Martin/Charles. Later, Henry confronts Siobhan about bribing the maid (the police found out about it so it’s going to cause more trouble), and Siobhan is oh so surprised that it didn’t work as planned. Idiot. Maybe she and Andrew were meant for each other after all.
Elsewhere in the city, Bridget meets up with Victor. She tells him she suspects Olivia is behind all the mayhem, thinking that her disappearance looks a lot like her having something to hide. Victor agrees to talk to an FBI buddy about it. Later, at the police station, a detective confronts Bridget about allegedly bribing the maid. Bridget has no clue what’s going on, obviously, since it was the real Siobhan who tried the bribe. Meanwhile, Victor and an FBI colleague go to confront the owner of the dry cleaning shop about running a hit service. He refuses to talk and leaves the meeting. Victor’s next step is to break into the house of the latest hit man to look for evidence. He’s snooping around in the basement, and he finds a body in the freezer. As you do.
Meanwhile, Juliet and Catherine have a chat at the hospital. Catherine is trying to guilt Juliet into continuing to help her by talking about how she just wanted to take everything away from Siobhan. Juliet, who seems to be the only sane person in the Martin household, tells Catherine that if she’s really sick, she hopes she gets better, but otherwise, she needs to get over it. Surprisingly, though, Juliet tells Andrew that she doesn’t want Catherine institutionalized. Instead, she wants Andrew to hire a nurse to take care of Catherine, but for the few days before the nurse can be hired, she wants Catherine to stay at the apartment with them. And Juliet now loses the “Only Sane Person in the Martin Household” award.
Bridget goes to the Butler house because she wants to talk to Henry about the whole bribing the maid thing, and she sees the outline of a woman through the glass in the door. It’s Siobhan, but she thinks it’s the nanny. Henry, of course, arrives home just in time to keep Bridget from seeing Siobhan, and he manages to successfully shoo her away. When Bridget gets home, it’s time for another chat with Victor. He shows her a picture of the body in the freezer, and Bridget reveals that it’s the guy she killed back in the pilot. Bridget also mentions that the burner cell phone which had been connected to the hit was taken from her apartment. She thinks it might have led to whoever ordered the hit. Victor says that the fingerprints from the photograph the hit man used to ID “Siobhan” could lead to the mastermind behind the hit. Catherine’s listening from the next room and looking worried. Of course.
At the episode draws to a close, all sorts of drama goes down. First, Tim confronts Andrew with the flash drive and says that he’s not going to report Martin/Charles to the SEC, but he is going to “save” it. Which can’t possibly be good. Meanwhile, Juliet leaves the apartment to go get stuff from Catherine’s hotel, and Catherine asks Bridget to join her for tea. Bridget reluctantly agrees. I thought she better watch Catherine make that tea very, very carefully, but of course Bridget didn’t heed my advice. Victor gets an e-mail about the fingerprints from the photo, and the photo slowly loads on his computer to build the suspense. It’s Catherine, of course. Big surprise there. Catherine brings in the tea, but she leaves the room because she says she forgot the sugar. Bridget goes to get sugar as Victor tries to call her to warn her about Catherine. Catherine hides Bridget’s phone. Victor rushes out of his apartment when he realizes Bridget isn’t answering. Meanwhile, Bridget has taken a few stupid sips of tea, and she starts to feel the effects of the drugs. She stumbles into another room and sees the mysterious hit man burner phone in Catherine’s purse. Bridget collapses, and Catherine drops pills all around her.
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