Monday, February 18, 2013

Once Upon a Time 2.13: "Tiny"

“I promise no harm will come to your family. After all, we have a deal.”
- Rumpelstiltskin

I have to say this episode was a little disappointing (no pun intended). I guess I was more excited for the Emma and Rumple out of Storybrooke plotline and that doesn’t come to fruition really until next week (which Jen as graciously allowed me to cover as well). Speaking of Emma and Rumple, their departure has a bit of a hiccup as far as Mr. Gold is concerned when Henry comes downstairs asking about what to wear. Emma says that either Henry comes along or she’s not going. With a bit of a huff, Rumple agrees and they’re off to cross the town line in his really red car (at least the interior. It didn’t help that Emma and Henry were clad in red, too). They cross the town line without a problem and make it to Logan International Airport. I’m pretty sure I’ve been in Terminal C before and it looks nothing like what it did on the show but I suppose they couldn’t make it totally realistic. They get their tickets and head for security. I have to say when I watched this sneak peek I laughed so hard. As they stand in line to go through the metal detector, Henry is badgering Rumple with questions about if he’s ever been on a plane before and if he’s nervous about finding his son. Before Henry can ask any more questions, it’s their turn and Rumple has a mild freak out over having to give up his cane and the shawl that let him pass over the town line. He’s all peeved about removing his shoes (remarking on how uncivilized it all is). But he makes it through just fine.

Unfortunately, as they’re waiting for their flight, Rumple is pacing incessantly and makes a break for the mens’ room. Once he’s sure no one is around, he walks into a stall and starts pounding on the toilet paper dispenser. And then we learn (as does Rumple) there is no magic in this land outside Storybrooke. So as they depart for New York City on an Ajira flight that will take 42 minutes (thank you Lost Easter eggs!), he’s got a bandaged hand. I think probably the funniest part of this whole plotline was Henry’s overwhelming excitement that there was a Cinnabuns in the airport and he got to bring a cinnamon bun on the plane.

Back in Storybrooke, the Charmings are going to head out to join the dwarves on Cora watch. Before they can leave, Regina shows up at their door, pretending to apologize for killing Archie. Being a bit dense, the Charmings assure her that they know she didn’t kill Archie and that it was Cora who framed her. She knows that you dolts! They also reveal Henry’s current travel plans. When Snow asks Charming where they can look for Cora, he says he knows someone and we cut to the Charmings, Leroy and Hook walking up the docks. Well Hook is sort of limping what with the whole broken ribs thing going on. He makes some cheeky remarks to Snow which Charming does not take kindly to. But once aboard his rather bright ship (I guess I hadn’t noticed how yellow and red the interior was before), Hook reveals Cora’s plan for revenge includes a sleeping giant.

We cut to the Fairytale Land that Was to find Anton hurrying for dinner with his brothers. He’s late as usual. He’s been in the treasure room checking out all the cool human stuff. His brothers tease him about his fascination and then Abraham crushes the golden harp he’d been hiding under his tunic. Oldest brother Arlo reminds the group that their purpose is to grow the magic beans, even though they don’t use them for anything. Anton doesn’t see the point if they aren’t being used and he thinks his brothers’ feelings about humans are misplaced. He thinks not all humans can be bad. So he climbs down the beanstalk to check out their world. Back on Hook’s ship, Snow wakes up a miniaturized Anton (aka Jorje Garcia’s normal size) who freaks out and punches Charming in the face after just seeing him. Snow scares him off with a well-placed arrow but he runs off the ship vowing to make them pay.

Before getting back to the Charmings and company, we make a stopover at the hospital. Belle is watching Expose (another Lost Easter egg) when Ruby comes by with some comforts from home, including The Mysterious Island by Jules Vern. Man they really packed in the Lost shout outs this week. Anyway, Belle asks Ruby to tell her the truth. She wants to believe that she didn’t actually see Rumple holding a ball of fire. Ruby tries to pass it off as hallucinations from the tranquilizers but Belle’s not having it. The creepy nurse from down in the psych dungeon shows up and dopes her up. Meanwhile Greg Mendel has been watching the whole exchange and later on pays Belle a visit. He confides in her that he saw the fireball, too. So they must not be crazy.

Over at Granny’s, the Charmings and Leroy are trying to figure out what Anton is so pissed off. We flash back to Charming’s brother, James, and his latest conquest Jack (short for Jacqueline). They’re interrupted by King George and news that a giant is running amok in the kingdom. So they go off to try and ensnare dear Anton. And it seems to be working. He happens upon them and is given a piece of magic mushroom (may we see Jefferson again sometime soon?) that makes him smaller. Next we find them in the tavern listening to music and drinking ale. James and Jack spin a story about how the kingdom is on the verge of being taken over and pillaged by a rival kingdom. Anton, feeling sorry for his newfound compadres, offers to climb back up his beanstalk and bring down some treasure to pay off the debt. He’s cagey about whether there are magic beans. Unfortunately, Anton’s trust in his friends is sorely misplaced. As Anton is sneaking off with the bag of treasure, the king’s army charges the beanstalk, taking out Anton’s brothers. Not surprising, Jack and James show up and demand the beans. Arlo orders Anton to burn the crop and salt the land (though we know Anton saves a single bean). Sadly, Arlo is poisoned by Jack’s sword and he dies. In showing what a royal pompous twat James is, he leaves a mortally wounded Jack to die while making off with the treasure. I’m so glad he died. Before Arlo breathes his last giant breath, he passes on a clipping from the beanstalk so that one day Anton could grow another one.

Back in Storybrooke, Hook shares news of Anton’s escape with Regina and the Charmings go out giant looking. Anton, after getting confounded by traffic also runs into Regina and is restored to his full size so he can rampage. And boy he does it for a short time. Cars go flying and things explode until Charming takes a chance and talks to Anton. He says that he’s not his brother and that they can be trusted. Anton isn’t buying it and as he’s chasing after them, we finally learn Charming’s real name. It’s David. That was probably the most underwhelming reveal of the show. Ever. As they’re running, Anton shrinks and falls into a sink hole. Luckily, David rescues him. After sharing a drink with some of the other townsfolk and sharing the news about the beanstalk clipping (Leroy is pretty excited about the magic bean crop prospect), they head out to farmland to plow the fields (with pick axes no less). Anton even gets named by the axe; Tiny (like his brothers used to call him). The dwarves are going to help protect the crop from Cora. As the Charmings head home, David marvels about how differently he and James turned out.

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