Tuesday, April 16, 2013

New Girl 2.22: "Bachelorette Party"

“CeCe, you’ve wanted a bachelorette party since I’ve known you. Why do you have to pretend to be someone you’re not? I’m just saying this is all moving really, really fast. And maybe you need to get to know Shivrang and maybe you need to slow this down so he can get to know you.”
- Jess

So we are winding down on season 2 of “New Girl” (only 3 episodes left). As the episode title implies, this week deals with the impending nuptials between CeCe and Shivrang. Jess is hanging out in the kitchen when Nick walks out in a god awful orange/yellow track suit that belonged to his dad. Everyone pretty much tells Nick the outfit is atrocious but Nick is claiming he has a “dead dad pass”. Yeah that’s not a real thing, Miller. Anyway, after the roommates comment on his attire, Winston hands out wedding invitations (why he’s made them I have no idea). Schmidt is upset because he doesn’t have a plus one on his invite. Jess begins freaking out because CeCe hasn’t had a bachelorette party yet and the wedding is three weeks away. So she decides to throw a surprise party and tasks Nick and Winston with kidnapping Shivrang so she can get CeCe alone.

Apparently CeCe’s dream was to have a really raunchy bachelorette party (strippers, thongs and penis-shaped balloons). Over at CeCe’s, she’s doing some last-minute wedding prep while Shivrang’s grandma and aunt sit watching (they came all the way from India). It is totally awkward and CeCe is kind of panicking. Shivrang is pretty excited that pretty soon they can actually hook up. Cue angry Schmidt entrance. He demands to know why he was not given a plus one and CeCe explains that it is for spouses and serious partners only. Schmidt takes this as a challenge to find a serious relationship in three weeks. Good luck with that.

That evening, Jess has gathered some of CeCe’s model friends and a few other people (Jess’ uber pregnant lesbian gynecologist included) for the surprise raunch-fest. CeCe is on her way up (she believes she’s just borrowing a CD from Jess) when Shivrang’s aunt wants to tag along. This is so going to be awkward and weird. And it leaves Shivrang victim to Nick and Winston’s kidnapping efforts. As predicted, CeCe walking in on the party is awkward as soon as pin the dong on the Shivrang gets whipped out (pun intended). CeCe begs them to keep it G rated so Shivrang’s aunt doesn’t get offended. But the ladies at the party find this rather boring. Plus CeCe has never seen his penis. So Jess tasks the boys with getting a picture so at least she knows what she’s getting.

At the bar, Nick is trying to use his “dead dad pass” for the whole penis picture thing until Jess says he can come home as soon as it is mission accomplished. And for some reason, Winston is being really creepy and violent. I noticed that the last few episodes and can’t really figure out what the writers are trying to do with his character. Their first attempt is just really pathetic. And then Schmidt shows up to gripe about how the women he’s slept with in the past turn him down for a serious relationship. Then Nick suggests his college girlfriend, Elizabeth. Schmidt is hesitant to go there because it was back when he was overweight but he’ll give it a go. Nick’s next idea is to tell Shivrang that it is traditional at American bachelor parties to take photos of one’s junk. Yeah that doesn’t work so well.

Back at the loft, Jess is trying to put a tasteful spin on the slideshow of naughty CeCe pics she put together when Shivrang’s aunt gets offended and asks CeCe if this the kind of wife she wants to be. CeCe says that the party was a surprise and that she didn’t want any of it. Jess rightfully calls CeCe out on her bullshit, telling that maybe they need to slow down and get to know each other before diving headlong into a relationship forever. CeCe is sticking to her guns though. She and Jess get into a shouting match that is interrupted by the stripper Jess got (this one at least was better than the time she tried to get one for Schmidt’s birthday).

Nick and Winston end up being sort of honest with Shivrang about what they’re trying to do. This prompts Shivrang to rush off back to CeCe to talk to her. Unfortunately, Winston sends the picture Nick took of his own penis to Jess and the girls at the party are kind of freaking out about it. Shivrang’s aunt demands to see Jess’s phone with the picture and things actually get a little less tense between them. She says that women cry for days over not having seen their future hubby’s goods. That is a little weird.

Meanwhile, Schmidt has tracked down his college girlfriend. He begs her to go to the wedding with him to get CeCe back and she declines. She says she loved him when he was fat but then he got skinny and he got mean and she doesn’t want anything to do with him. Good for her. He can be a douche. Back at the loft, Shivrang’s aunt is sharing finding her hubby’s privates for the first time and it seems everyone is bonding. Things get a little awkward when Winston, Nick and Shivrang so how and the girls learn it was Nick’s penis in the photo and Nick and Jess go off fighting over her phone. CeCe admits that maybe things are moving a little fast but that maybe a leap of faith is what they need. Schmidt even admits he doesn’t want a plus one and that he’s happy for CeCe. And perhaps most important of all, despite it not fitting in with Indian wedding tradition, CeCe makes Jess her maid of honor.

And in the weirdest coda we’ve had in a while, Schmidt ends up back at Elizabeth’s place with three pizzas and ends up eating a bunch and dancing to make her happy. Yeah that’s just really bizarre. I kind of hope he doesn’t bring her to the wedding after all.

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