Summer DVR Dump: Warehouse 13 5.06: “Endless”

“This ritual is also the Warehouse’s gift to you.”
- Mrs. Frederick

Well gang, we’ve reached the end of the road with our fearless Warehouse agents. It’s time to bid adieu to Pete, Myka, Artie, Claudia, Steve and Mrs. Frederick. After a brief trip to 1889 where we get one final cameo from the lovely HG Wells (snagging Jack the Ripper’s lantern), we learn that the Warehouse is moving on. The gang is gathered around the round table which acts as a Warehouse time capsule. Every agent contributes their defining moment to it. Pete is angry that they aren’t trying to stop the move but he’s not going to win the argument. So, Claudia goes first. The artifact picks your defining moment. I have to admit when I read the synopsis that they would be picking their defining moments, I worried it would be something of a clip show. Thankfully I was wrong. Claudia’s defining moment deals with a tap dancing artifact. I had a big grin plastered on my face the whole time as everyone was dancing and the gang was chased by crazy sparkly showgirls. Claudia got to do a big final number while Artie and company found an artifact to stop the tap dancing one. Myka notes that Claudia seems kind of bummed out by the moment and Mrs. F chimes in that Claudia realized in that moment she didn’t want to be the Caretaker of the Warehouse. Claudia explains that she loves being an agent and wouldn’t want to give that up for anything.

Pete storms off angrily to find a way to save the Warehouse while the rest of the team deals with Claudia’s doubts about being Caretaker. Steve is trying to be supportive and Claudia is worried about letting Artie down. This leads to him contributing his defining moment which Mrs. Frederick warns could back fire. We see Artie and a very young man (a few years older than Claudia probably) out snagging and bagging. There’s an elusive artifact that Artie’s been after for at least twenty years. It created a time bubble so a bunch of soldiers didn’t ship out in the wake of Pearl Harbor. Artie and his partner split up and the young guy chats up a woman who’d been fighting with a man. He learns that the guy is her husband and she’s pregnant and doesn’t want him to go. So she’s been using a champagne glass to keep time from moving forward. But the young agent blabs about the baby and Artie snags the glass. He’s pretty pleased with himself but the young agent, Scott, is a little bummed about a mother worrying about her child growing up without a father. And then Artie drops the bombshell that Scott is his son. Say what now? Claudia needs a little time to process Artie’s revelation. It turns out he was the person who got the “one person can know your life about the Warehouse” rule applied to agents and not just the Regents. And his son isn’t an agent. He’s just a normal guy who goes to Comic Con with his dad (love it!) The point is that Claudia should be happy and no decisions need to be made now.

Pete is furiously trying to find a loop hole to stop the Warehouse from moving and he won’t listen to Myka when she says that there is no loop hole and his job is to be contributing to the time capsule. I’m honestly kind of surprised by how vehemently opposed he is to the change. I think he’s lashing out because he’s afraid of what he’ll lose. Myka goes back to the round table to find Mrs. F and Steve bonding over Mrs. F’s moment. But now it’s Myka’s turn. She’s talking to a bunch of preppy women (like suburban housewife types) and going on about all their dirty little secrets and how they are linked to a Japanese artifact. She doesn’t expect them all to touch it and become ninja cat burglars. Whoops! We get a funny ninja fight scene with Pete and Myka and as we come out of the moment, Steve points out that Myka is in love with Pete. It makes sense why the two of them were fighting so much. The Warehouse is what brought them together.

I have to say I really enjoyed a lot of the little character moments we go in this finale. We see Artie railing against the move by talking (aka yelling) to the Warehouse as if it could actually respond. He calls it a cheap whore for moving on without him and not thanking him for his loyalty and care. He gets an apple in return (which I didn’t really get) and he seems satisfied. Back in the round table room, it is Steve’s turn. He’s worried that he doesn’t have a defining moment since he never felt like he truly belonged at the Warehouse but his moment is rather interesting. HG, Claudia and Steve are trying to Magic School Bus an artifact out of Artie’s heart. Steve snags it and he’s just in awe at the fact he’s standing inside a beating human heart. The Warehouse gave him peace. And we also realize that this ritual of recording one’s defining moment is also a way for the Warehouse give something back to the agents. Down at the compass device that directs where the Warehouse goes on its next journey, Myka finds Pete and after some babbling and cross-talking, she finally just kisses him. He thinks it is artifact induced but she assures him that she loves him and that he doesn’t need to be afraid of losing the person he’s become because she won’t let him.

It’s now Pete’s turn to contribute his moment and it’s every case they’ve worked up to Myka kissing him. The Warehouse has made him who he is and continues to shape him. Pete gets rather emotional about it until Steve jabs that maybe he broke the table. This gets a laugh out of Mrs. Frederick. But they don’t have time to sit around and use because they’ve got a ping. And as they start digging into the case we transition to the future where Claudia has become the Caretaker, complete with the creepy entering and exiting of rooms without a sound. She takes a moment to admire her team of agents who remind her so much of her friends before going down to the round table. We get everyone echoing the phrase “endless wonder” as we pull up and out of the Warehouse. I have to say that was a very satisfying ending to a rather wondrous show. It’s not often you get such a good wrap up with the writers honoring all that’s come before and really making the fans reconnect with bits of the past. The only cameo we didn’t get that I would have liked is one by Pete’s mom. She may have been in one of the clips that played during his montage of defining moment but I missed her. I am sad to see this little show go as it was the last of the trio that really got me into watching original material on SyFy. But I’m sure there will be more to come. Farewell, Warehouse 13. May you continue on in our hearts with your rows of endless wonder.

Summer TV Rewind: Leverage 1.06: “The Miracle Job”

“Saint Nicholas? He’s the patron saint of thieves.”
- Sophie

I suppose this episode counts as the Christmas episode for the season. A Catholic priest is on his way to a town meeting to beg the town to not tear down his church. On his way, a group of Hispanic thugs beat him up. This gets Nate’s attention because the priest is an old friend of his (and his ex-wife Maggie calls him to fill him in). The rest of the team is busy lying to Sophie about her performance as Willie Lowman in “Death of a Salesman”. They head to the church and Nate thinks he needs to talk the team into taking the case but they are gung ho about it already. Parker goes to try and find info on the numerous shell companies behind the purchase of the church while Eliot and Hardison go off to find the bangers who beat up the priest. Nate flashes back to his son’s baptism that Paul performed. This going to be a rough one for our leader.

Out on the streets the boys find the thugs pretty fast. Eliot does his usual shtick with disarming guns and Hardison knocks down the injured banger. He says he just got a call and some money to beat up the priest and hands over the number he called. The guys leave the lead banger to take care of the dissension in the ranks. Back at HQ, we learn that the shell companies are owned by a man named Andrew Grant. He’s a media whore with a new building opening the next day. And due to a helicopter crash, he’s a pill popper to deal with anxiety. So the team sets him up at the opening of the new location (which isn’t even close to being done). Sophie pretends to be a reporter and Parker and Eliot knock him over and swap out his meds for some caffeine pills laced with a little extra something special. Grant and Sophie end up in the elevator and it gets stuck. He starts to sweat and panic and pops a pill which only makes it worse. Just as he can’t take it anymore, Sophie gives the cue to send the elevator the rest of the way down and convinces Grant to carry her out like he’s the hero. They get back to his office and he offers her the job of publicist. Which is good because the team needed an in.

Back at HQ, Nate floats the idea that they need to create a miracle to keep the church open long enough to run a long con on Grant. So Hardison gets to put his creative skills to use while Parker keeps the priest in the hospital so he doesn’t know what’s going on. She fakes his tests so they show he’s pregnant so he has to stay there to do another set. Sophie leaks a story that Grant is planning to build a lifestyle center where the church now stands and then convinces Grant to make the announcement at the church. They’ll use his own publicity against him. It works a little too well. Hardison makes a fake statue of Saint Nicholas cry and hordes of people show up. Now they have to figure out how to handle the rest of the con.

Before they get far, the priest shows up demanding answers from Nate. Nate tries to explain while Sophie goes to put the final nails in Grant’s coffin. They didn’t realize, however, how greedy this guy is. He’s going to use the miracle to build Bibletopia (it sounds absolutely horrid but Eliot thinks his nephew would love it). Meanwhile, more and more people are showing up, including the Vatican. They’re here to see if the miracle is real or not. Grant sees it as a great attention vehicle. If it’s real, he gets to go ahead with Bibletopia. If it’s fake, he’s revered as the great guy who shut down the fraudulent parish. I really can’t wait to see this asshole get what he deserves.

Nate and the priest have a sort of heart to heart in the confessional. Nate says he’s doing wrong things for the right reasons while the priest is insisting that Nate is just trying to take himself down and maybe a few baddies along the way because he feels so guilty over what happened with Sam. Grant’s assistant goes into the confessional as well. I think he’s going to help out our gang. That Sunday, while the priest is delivering his sermon, the team fakes the disappearance of the statue and frames Grant for stealing the real one. It gets him arrested and we find out that his assistant has enough information to go to the police. He outs Grant in front of reporters and the entire congregation that Grant bribes people to get what he wants. And Sophie tipped off the cops about the bust so they got there before Grant could do anything.

Nate and the priest have some parting words of friendship. The priest points out that five thieves saved his church and that’s a miracle. And he did the wrong thing for the right reason so I guess that does work out sometimes. Nate’s hesitant to go back to church though (he dropped out of seminary years ago). Still, I think he should go back. It might bring him some peace eventually. Though he probably just drowns in a bottle to get there most days. I have to say it wasn’t my favorite holiday-themed episode of Leverage (that would be the “Ho Ho Ho Job” in season 3 because who doesn’t love Wil Wheaton.). But it was a touching episode and it gave us yet more back story on Nate and what has brought him to this point in his life. And hey, we’re halfway done with the season. Can you believe it? The only thing I wish they’d done differently was introduce us to Maggie in person, rather than name. I know she eventually pops up later in the story but it would have been nice to meet her this early.

Summer TV Rewind: Orange is the New Black 1.05: "The Chickening"

“You are not an agent of God, okay? God can do so much better than you. You must know that, right?”
-Pornstache

There was a lot going on in the fifth episode of “Orange is the New Black,” and I’m struggling to find something that ties it all together. Piper goes off the deep end and starts embracing Litchfield as her “real” life, there’s a bit of a religious squabble (led by Pennsatucky, of course), and we get some Daya flashbacks. Oh, and poor Sophia is still trying to get her hormones. One common line that runs through much of the episode is people making poor decisions, although that isn’t exactly a surprise in a show about prison. Most people in prison are there as a result of a string of poor decisionmaking, after all. It was interesting to get a bit of a look into the history between Daya and her mother, and it was interesting to see Piper start to prioritize Litchfield drama over her former life “outside.”

The episode opens with as idyllic a Sunday morning as Piper can experience in prison. Armed with a granola bar, a cup of coffee, and a mediocre book, Piper heads out into the yard and sits under a tree, ready to enjoy the most hipster-style indulgence she can find while in prison. Just as Piper is about to really dive into her book, though, she is interrupted by a nearby chicken. A chicken is a rather unusual thing to find in a prison yard, and Piper mentions it to some of the other ladies when she goes back inside. She is told to tell Red about the chicken immediately, and it is quickly apparent why. Red has been all Captain Ahab about this chicken for a very long time. Mostly because she thinks it’s smart and wants to absorb its power. And she wants to make a nice Chicken Kiev with fresh chicken for once.

Meanwhile, since it’s a Sunday, there is also some religious drama at Litchfield. It feels like a side plot in this episode, but on further reflection, it does a nice job seeding the conflict that will eventually bloom between Piper and Pennsatucky. And yes, “Pennsatucky” is a real term we Pennsylvanians use. As in Philadelphia in the east, Pittsburgh in the west, and Kentucky in between. Both of us here at MTVP went to college in “Pennsatucky” country, so we know it all too well. Anyway, the chapel space at Litchfield is kind of a revolving door, providing worship space to women from a wide range of religions. Because of this, the prison administration tries to limit decoration in the chapel. Pennsatucky, however, has created a massive wooden cross that she wants to hang up.

Sophia is involved tangentially in the religious subplot because she’s still trying to find a way to get hormones again. Sister Jane is pretty much the only inmate at Litchfield who has gotten approval for a medication that includes estrogen. Sophia is hoping that Sister Jane will share the wealth, so she starts hanging around with the religious crowd and trying to ingratiate herself to Sister Jane. This leads to a clash with Pennsatucky, who is full-on fundamentalist and therefore not especially fond of transgender people. There’s an incident where Pennsatucky tries to hang up the massive cross she built and brings down the whole chapel ceiling. When a group of inmates is convened to start the repair work, Pennsatucky asks that Sophia leave, basically because she doesn’t think God approves of her. Sophia and Sister Jane have some interesting spiritual conversations throughout the episode, but the upshot is that Sister Jane knows Sophia is after her hormones, and she’s not sharing.

Through flashbacks in this episode, we get a sense of just how much Daya’s home life sucked. Daya’s mom has many children, and it is pretty much Daya’s job to take care of all of them. Daya’s mom spends most of her time trying to find the next man to keep them financially afloat for a while. It would be one thing if Daya’s mom seemed to be just doing what she had to do to survive, but she’s pretty shameless about loving all the attention she gets from the men in her life. Her children seem to be an inconvenience. Add to that the fact that her latest paramour is a drug dealer, and the situation is pretty bleak. The dealer has women (including Daya’s mom) making drugs in the family kitchen, and it’s clear that he’d rather be sleeping with Daya than her mother. Daya’s mom lands in prison because of her boyfriend’s shady dealings, and after a particularly contentious visitation (Daya’s mom wants to know more about her boyfriend than her kids), Daya decides to truly get back at her mom by having sex with the drug dealer boyfriend.

Piper tells Red about the chicken, and the situation escalates way beyond what Piper could have imagined. Red offers a reward for catching the chicken, and it seems like every inmate at Litchfield wants a chance at it. The end result is mayhem in the yard, and the Litchfield administration starts broadcasting messages that the chicken doesn’t exist. Everyone starts thinking that Piper made up the story just to get in good with Red. Piper herself even starts doubting if she saw what she thought she saw. Meanwhile, some problems have cropped up with Piper and Polly’s artisanal bath product business, and the two cook up a plan to have Piper talk to a business associate who is having doubts without revealing that Piper is in prison. The call is about to go through when Piper catches a glimpse of the chicken through the window. She forsakes the phone call for another attempt at the chicken, and in that moment, she has embraced Litchfield life over her former life. It’s all in vain, though, as the elusive chicken somehow manages to get back on the “outside” side of the Litchfield fence.

In the present day, Daya and Officer Bennett’s relationship is blossoming. They both keep passing notes to each other. There’s once incident in particular where Daya is trying to trade corn for her mom and Bennett catches her. In an effort to look like everything is normal, Bennett is a little too aggressive in reprimanding Daya for trying to barter. Daya’s mom notices this, of course, and the gears start turning in her head about how she can use this knowledge to make Daya miserable. Most of the other notes are passed through one of the checkpoint stations on the Litchfield fence. It’s all very sweet and innocent if you don’t think about the troubling power imbalance between Daya and Bennett. Daya’s mom wants revenge, and she sends a note to Bennett which leads to an encounter between the two of them in a storage closet. It is not yet apparent whether or not Daya’s mom will truly have her revenge.

Dominion 1.03: "Broken Places"

“What awaits me there? A life, my life. Away from you and everyone telling me who I’m supposed to be.”
- Alex

This week starts with William and Gabriel meeting in a little diner outside of Vega. Gabriel is passing for human and we learn two important things during their conversation. William isn’t actually Gabriel’s son (just a follower) and Gabriel enjoys pudding (but not from a can). William is going on about Claire getting hurt and so to prove a point, Gabriel slaughters everyone in the diner. His point: William is made stronger by death and violence. So he’s tasked with going back to Vega and preparing his followers for the coming battle. I have a feeling William is going to realize he’s chosen the wrong archangel to throw in with. Out on the road, Alex is having a hallucination of Claire (regret he didn’t let her join him perhaps) as he continues his running away gag. And back in his little hidey hole, Rysen asks his angel lover (who is apparently not a higher angel) if she’s seen anyone snooping about who might be a Power. She says no since she’s basically locked up in the casino all the time.

Things are no less tense back in Vega. Arika (the representative from Helena) is not pleased that Wheel hasn’t gotten permission from Rysen to make a deal with Helena and says she’s talking to the wrong man. That’s not a very good thing to say to a man who feeds people to lions. And he’s equally pissed off at Michael for not telling then about the Powers. Michael is calm in his response and he name drops some of the other archangels. Wheel accuses him of being a deserter from the angel forces and suggests that maybe he’ll turn on humanity. Michael says it could be true but even if it was, he could kill everyone in the room and no one could stop him. He also can’t ID the higher angels since coming to earth.

Alex is continuing his trek when he happens upon an overturned truck and dead bodies. After shooting the lone survivor so eight balls can’t take them over, he siphons off some gas and keeps going. Meanwhile, Gabriel returns to his lair and one of his lieutenants is not happy that he’s meeting with humans. In fact, the lieutenant doesn’t understand why Gabriel doesn’t just walk into Vega undetected and take Alex. So I guess both sides want Alex to be their hero. Interesting. Next we find Michael browsing the market and we see that he does in fact know some of the higher angels, even perhaps another archangel. He gives the one he knows a message for the rest; stand with him or get out. We briefly deal with Claire’s current drama. Her father has rounded up anyone who had contact with the Power, including innocence children. Papa Rysen explains that they need to be proactive and he also spills the beans on his illness. Wheel is being a sneaky son of a bitch and trying to twist the arm of the senator who is sleeping with Michael to give up any info she can on his vulnerabilities or other ways to tell that he’s an angel in human form. I doubt she’s going to comply. Things are not going very well for Arika either. She gets her sister’s dead body delivered in a box from her wife. Ultimately, she makes a deal with Wheel that she’ll stage a coup and their deal for Helena’s air force will be her top priority.

Speaking of Michael, he takes off as soon as he learns Alex has left the city. Alex nearly runs him off out in the desert but swerves to avoid him. Michael says that he can’t leave Alex alone anymore and he shouldn’t done so in the past as much as he did. Alex threatens to shoot Michael (after the angel calls shotgun…which makes me giggle so hard) but relents and agrees to one stop with the angel before he’s allowed to continue his journey to New Delphi. They end up at the house where we saw the flashback last week and get a bit more of Alex’s backstory. His mother died in the house trying to protect him and it was Michael’s’ fault Jeep left him. Michael said that Alex needed to struggle and fall to rise up and be the Chosen One. Also Alex sees Jeep struggling to understand the tattoos and going crazy and trying to drink himself to death when shooting himself doesn’t work. I thought it was very interesting how the being in that place and Alex having the tattoos triggered this sort of flashes of memory from the house itself. Not surprising but Gabriel’s forces are tracking them and a fight ensues. It’s not quite as awesome as the fight in the first episode but we do get some fun tricks from Michael. Unfortunately, he’s distracted by Alex’s fight and gets stabbed and the other archangel’s sword breaks of fin his gut. That’s not good!

Things are left rather unresolved by the end of the episode at least for Michael. Alex is taking him back to Vega (I think). And Gabriel is pissed that Michael’s come to harm! So pissed he kills a random eight ball and threatens to take out his lieutenant, too. Interesting that they still feel so tied to one another even though they are on opposite sides of the war. And Claire has agreed to marry William so long as her father keeps his deal and draws up a bill of rights for the people. And William initiates a new member into his Gabriel cult. It is pretty gruesome and disturbing. I have to say I thought this was a pretty strong episode. We got a nice mix of forward momentum while filling in some of the gaps. I swear I’ll get around to watching Legion at some point to get more of the back story but I just haven’t yet. I hope that Michael is okay because he’s not looking so hot at the end. But angels are tough and I expect that the higher angels are not so easy to kill.

Summer TV Rewind: The Americans 1.05: "Comint"

“It happens sometimes, Phillip.”
-Elizabeth

So, fun fact, the name of this episode of “The Americans” stands for “communications intelligence,” which is definitely an appropriate name for an episode which saw Phillip and Elizabeth trying to shut down a system of American surveillance radios in FBI cars. The show has been dark from the get-go, but this episode seems to hit a different shade of dark. We see the horrible things that can happen during routine spywork, and we see how Phillip and Elizabeth have to go on living in spite of it. I think it’s kind of interesting that Phillip never realized some of the things Elizabeth did in the course of their work. Or maybe he did notice but tried to deny it? I think what we’re supposed to believe is that Phillip never paid that close attention to Elizabeth until now. Which is kind of hard to believe.

This episode doesn’t feel as self-contained as the earlier episodes of the season. It seems to really build on the events of the previous episodes. The episode opens with Elizabeth investigating the missile defense project she and Phillip learned about earlier this season. She poses as a security expert to interview a key person on the project. This man’s wife recently passed away, and Elizabeth asks many probing questions about whether women have been hitting on him and if he told his wife anything about his job. The man denies anything untoward. When we next see Elizabeth talking to Claudia, though, we learn that everything we saw was a lie. The scientist has actually been a KGB informant all along, and he’s not holding up well being out of contact with his handler. His handler is stuck in the Rezidentura because the FBI have been hovering and they also have new radio encryption which makes it more difficult for the KGB to know when they are being followed.

The unhappy KGB informant actually ends up calling Vasili at the Rezidentura on a pay phone. Vasili isn’t happy about this, and the informant ends up hanging up. Vasili also kind of gets his flirt on with Nina, which is pretty gross. He sees her making tea with a tea bag and encourages her to make tea the proper Russian way. Meanwhile, the FBI has picked up on the informant’s call to Vasili. Agent Gaad interrupts a conversation Amador and Stan are having about Martha to deliver the news. They have the transcript of the conversation, but they don’t know the identity of the informant. Stan enlists Nina’s help, of course, and in the process, he tries to seriously flatter her.

Speaking of Martha, she and “Clark” (actually Phillip disguised as a counterintelligence agent) have been seeing a lot of each other lately. Their conversation is interrupted by a kiss, but Phillip quickly pulls away. He says it’s important that they keep up their professional boundaries because national security is at risk. He tells Martha that worrying about counterintelligence keeps him up at night, and he says he’s concerned that a particular consultant wasn’t properly vetted. Martha offers up the name of the consultant (which is probably what Phillip was going for here) – Kurt Schultz.

After giving Phillip a hard time for playing too much racquetball with Stan, Elizabeth divulges her plan for dismantling the American radio encryption and reuniting the informant with Vasili. She’s going to pose as a business rival to Kurt Schultz. When we next see her, she is having sex with Schultz, but he turns out to be kind of sadistic. He starts hitting her with a belt, and at that point, Elizabeth curls up and begs him to stop. When they are both dressed again, Elizabeth asks Schultz if her boss can now buy his company. Schultz starts boasting about how he has developed portable encryption technology, and the FBI has been carrying around the encryption devices in their cars.

Nina is also using sex to get information in this episode. She brings Vasili some tea and starts to undress. He’s a little surprised, but he doesn’t exactly protest the turn of events. Afterwards, Vasili starts telling Nina a story about the agent he recruited 23 years ago (the KGB informant from early on in the episode). Vasili describes the agent as a “bureaucrat with a soul,” but now the man has the jitters. There’s a light moment where Vasili tries to demonstrate to Nina what exactly the “jitters” are. Nina reports this information back to Stan, and when she tells Stan exactly what she did to get the information, Stan is embarrassed. He doesn’t want to believe he’s the kind of person who could encourage a woman to have sex for information.

When Elizabeth gets home from her rendezvous with Schultz, Phillip notices the marks on her back from the belt. He gets extremely upset and wants to hurt Schultz on Elizabeth’s behalf. Elizabeth plays it cool, saying that this is something that happens to her sometimes. I really don’t get why Phillip never would have noticed this before. Phillip is still cranky about it the next morning. Phillip and Elizabeth end up staging an accident to get access to the trunk of an FBI car. Phillip then pretends to be a customer at the same repair shop where the FBI car is being serviced. He serves as a distraction so Elizabeth can climb into the trunk of the FBI car. She makes an imprint of a piece of the encryption device in the trunk of the car, but while she’s still in it, the mechanics start lowering the car on the jack. Phillip has to take his car abruptly so he can follow Elizabeth. They meet back up outside of the FBI parking lot, and they seem to have reached an understanding again about what their job sometimes requires.

Back at the Rezidentura, Nina is giving Vasili another blow job when Arkady interrupts (he doesn’t know Nina is there). Arkady happily announces that the FBI encryption codes have been obtained, and Vasili is free to meet with his agent. Of course, Nina immediately relays this information (along with the particulars of the planned meeting) to Stan. The actual meeting goes horribly wrong because the FBI immediately changed their encryption codes, and they’re all around the meeting site. The poor, hapless KGB informant ends up dying from a gunshot to the head courtesy of Elizabeth. Later, Claudia gives Phillip some bad news. The fact that the FBI changed the encryption codes so quickly must mean that the KGB has a mole.

Summer DVR Dump: Atlantis 1.05: "White Lies"

“I would gladly give my life for her.”
-Jason

Sarah and I decided to split recapping/reviewing duties for BBC’s “Atlantis” this summer, so I will be covering it from here on out. I certainly got an interesting episode to start with. We learn a lot about some of the backstory behind the Atlantis royal family, and we learn just how evil Pasiphae really is. She wants power for herself at any cost. The plot itself is kind of slow-moving in this one, but the big reveals are enough to keep it mostly interesting. I do wish we would delve a little deeper into the characters’ motivations, though. Why does Ariadne care about her brother so much considering what she has been told of him (or why does she not believe what she has been told). Why does King Minos tolerate Pasiphae? Why do Jason and Pythagoras tolerate Hercules? The world wants to know (or at least I do)!

The episode opens with a rather menacing scene for Ariadne. As she is walking to her bedchamber at night, she is stopped and pulled into a corner by a rather large man. He acts as if he is going to attack Ariadne, but it’s all for show. He really has a message from her brother, Therus. When Ariadne is released, both she and her attacker, Stolos, stick to the story that he was trying to rob her. This means that Stolos is in for a heaping helping of torture. For you long-term readers of MTVP (if you exist), you know that I just don’t like torture in my television. At all. It’s the one thing that makes me squeamish. At first, Stolos sticks to the story, but then Pasiphae ups the ante by using some very painful magic, and Stolos finally admits that he was sent with a message from Therus.

Meanwhile, Jason and the rest of the boys are having some fun with beetles (say what?). Hercules has been training a beetle to win at beetle races, and he has convinced Pythagoras and Jason to bet all their money on the beetle. Pythagoras tells Jason not to worry because he still has a few hidden gold coins, but it turns out Hercules found those and bet them too. Lucky for the guys, Hercules’ beetle wins. Hercules names the beetle Astrabucus, because he figures the beetle deserves a fancy name after such a victory. The celebration doesn’t last long though, because Korinna, Ariadne’s handmaid, has a request of Jason. She wants to be escorted out into the woods to see her “true love.”

The boys take Korinna where she has requested, and they meet Therus. They don’t realize it’s Therus at first, but when they see that Korinna and Therus aren’t acting like typical reunited lovers, they know something’s up. Almost immediately, Korinna asks to be taken back to Atlantis. It’s almost dark, though, and travel through the woods at night isn’t safe. The boys have to spend the night with Therus. Meanwhile, thanks to the torture and all, Pasiphae knows that Therus is near, so she sends a team out to try and attack him. The boys have run into a rather dangerous situation. By morning, however, they have been successful in fighting off Pasifphae’s soldiers.

Jason takes Korinna back to Atlantis, and of course as soon as she gets the confirmation about Therus, Ariadne wants to see him. Pasiphae correctly guesses this will be the case, so she asks Heptarian to follow Ariadne. In turn, Ariadne, Korinna, and Jason anticipate this move by Pasiphae, so when Heptarian follows a hooded woman around Atlantis, he discovers, to his chagrin, that the woman is actually Korinna. Pasiphae moves quickly to try and keep Ariadne from learning the truth. She orders the city sealed, saying that Ariadne has been abducted. This is going to make it very difficult for Ariadne and Jason to get out into the woods to see Therus.

Throughout the episode, Astrabucus the dung beetle keeps making his presence known. When the alarms go off to seal the city, Jason takes Ariadne back to his living quarters (it’s not safe to have her out on the street). He gives her some plainer clothes to change into, and there’s some serious unresolved sexual tension about the whole thing. Until, of course, Ariadne discovers Astrabucus’s dinner in the bedroom. That dinner being a jar of horse manure. Also, out in the woods when fighting was going on, Astrabucus got lost. Pythagoras thought he might have stepped on the beetle, but it turned out to just be a spider. Pythagoras and Hercules did indeed find a beetle pretty quickly after that, but we’ll never know if the beetle is actually Astrabucus (Hercules thinks it’s not).

Jason does eventually manage to get Ariadne safely to Therus’s camp, and once there, the two siblings have a long conversation. Therus had been accused of plotting against King Minos, but Therus says this was all a plot by Pasiphae to gain power. There was an interesting earlier conversation between Minos and Pasiphae where Minos alludes to terrible things they both did to gain power. It seems like Minos has mellowed out a little (he loves his daughter, at least), but Pasiphae most definitely has not. Now that Ariadne is about to come of age, Therus is worried for her safety. Pasiphae tried to take out the heir to the throne before, and it’s not a stretch to believe she’ll do it again. Therus thinks that Ariadne needs to leave Atlantis for her own safety. Ariadne feels it is her duty to stay with her people, but Therus has drugged her drink, and she falls unconscious.

Jason catches Therus trying to ride of with Ariadne, and there is a confrontation. Therus tries to explain that he is just trying to protect Ariadne, but Jason knows that Ariadne would never want to abandon Atlantis. Jason says that he would die for Ariadne, and he’s not going to let Therus take her away. Ariadne starts to regain consciousness, and Therus is forced to relent. Jason sneaks Ariadne back into the city, where she tells Pasiphae that she was just consulting the oracle. Pasiphae doesn’t believe this story, and Ariadne doesn’t care (and she tells Pasiphae she doesn’t care). This is going to be quite the throwdown in upcoming episodes, I would imagine. The episode ends with the boys back in the beetle racing arena. Hercules’s beetle is not nearly as impressive this time around, and Hercules is convinced that the beetle is not actually Astrabucus. Here’s hoping the buys didn’t bet all their money this time around!

Summer DVR Dump: Warehouse 13 5.05: “Cangku Shisi”

“Benedict Valda is going to steal the Warehouse.”
- Artie

We are nearing our journey, folks. This marks the last episode before the finale. We pick up right where we left off. Claudia busts into the room where Claire was being monitored and everything is gone, including the artifact keeping her in a coma. Artie whips out the crazy spectrometer rewind artifact (I gave a little cheer at the return of that one) we see Valda taking Claire. Back at the Warehouse the gang gathers to try and figure out what exactly Valda is planning. Pete is acting super weird around Myka since Kelly told him he was in love with his partner. He even makes Steve go with them when they realize Valda has been holed up in the dead agent’s vault which probably explains his knowledge of Claire.

Speaking of, Valda wakes up Claire and uses what looks like a Borg implant to control her with his mind. I have to say if they could modify that somehow, they might be able to keep her power in check. Unfortunately I don’t think that is his plan. He goes to the Regent’s vault and shoots a guy there. Myka figures out they are missing a safety deposit box key to said vault right around the same time. So they head off to find it but things go awry very quickly. Whatever Valda used to shoot the Regent unleashes a snowstorm and freeze Artie into a statue. Pete and Myka need an assist from Steve to get Artie unfrozen and neutralize the artifact. Meanwhile, Claudia is back at the Warehouse digging more into Valda’s room.

Our menace is now at a park in Rapid City. He’s putting on a demonstration for someone by using the record player that was keeping Claire in a coma to knock out the entire park. He’s going to sell artifacts and weaponries them. Yeah I really hope our heroes beat his British ass. As much as I am a fan of the actor, this character gets on my nerves. Steve arrives at Regent central with some handy artifacts, including a walking stick that creates earthquakes (I want to say that was from like season 1). In tandem, the two artifacts work. Artie is rather disoriented but Pete and Myka head off to Rapid City. Thanks to some quick thinking by Claudia, she brings the super underpants from the episode with Jewel Staite and Shawn Mahar and Myka kills the record player (which is now playing a record by a guy who broke the sound barrier). Unfortunately, despite that victory, Artie discovers Valda’s master plan. He’s going to steal the Warehouse.

Myka, Pete and Claudia are confused about why and why Valda would steal the Warehouse. Artie goes into a sort of long explanation about the various pieces that are needed to transfer the Warehouse from one location to the next. We know that Valda has at least two pieces and the third piece is located at a tavern in Boston. I have to say, having lived in Boston for going on five years, whatever stock shot they used wasn’t very convincing. Of course, while our trio heads off to Boston, Artie and Steve go to check on the last piece of the puzzle. Of course, Valda already nabbed it. And before you know it, Valda has started the relocation process. Definitely not a good thing but I have a feeling that it won’t last. Or then again, maybe it will but I can’t see them ending the show with the bad guy winning. That’s just not what this show is about.

The gang has to get out of the bottom of the tavern and thanks to Myka’s knowledge of history, they find a secret passage. But Claudia is getting bad vibes from the Warehouse move. Back at the Warehouse, the artifacts start to move and Artie and Steve race to find the compass and try to stop it. But spraying it with goo and silly string doesn’t do much. Claudia does some hacking magic and we learn that Valda is on his way to China. The gang takes a portal to the Chinese Olympic Stadium and think they’ve beaten Valda there but alas, he uses Claire’s power to pin them to a wall 9quite literally). And we learn that Claire is going to be the new Caretaker of the Warehouse. Oh and Mrs. Frederick had a sister who was the Caretaker until she died in 1893. Damn, Mrs. F. is old! I do have to say I’m enjoying all the references to past seasons and cases. It feels rather nostalgic.

Valda orders Claire to kill our heroes while Artie and Steve make a last ditch effort to mess up the compass. Luckily, Claudia gets through to Claire and they get the idea to reverse the mind control device so it channels all of Claire’s rage into Valda. At first blush it doesn’t sound like a good idea but Pete tackles Valda and steals the tuning fork that allowed him to cross into our reality and neutralizes it. So Valda and the energy go poof. I knew they’d have a happy ending to that storyline! Oh and did I mention we got a cameo from Trailer. This really is a great nostalgic episode. It would have been a little better if Kate Mulgrew had made a cameo as Pete’s mom. Then again we have one more episode so it could happen. And maybe Joshua, too.

Things are looking up for our team of agents. Claudia and Claire are happily reunited and looking forward to much sisterly bonding. And Pete admits to Steve that he’s in love with Myka. You know, as much as I’ve said this season that I see them as brother and sister, I can respect them being endgame and that the writers waited this long to even bring it up. But that may all be unimportant as the series finale looms because just as Myka and Artie return the Warehouse moving artifacts, the compass activates again. Mrs. Frederick gets on the Farnsworth and warns that Valda’s actions may have set things in motion to actually move the Warehouse and she may not be able to stop it.