Sunday, May 11, 2014

Once Upon a Time 3.21-3.22: 'Snow Drifts"/"There's No Place Like Home"

“When Henry brought me back to Storybrooke, I didn’t see what he was doing. He wasn’t bringing me back to break a curse. He was bringing me home.”
- Emma

We’ve made it to the finale, folks. And in case you missed it, ABC renewed the show for season 4! But on with the recap because we’ve got a lot to get through. We start eighteen years ago as a much younger Emma (even played by a different actress) watches as a little girl from her group home gets adopted. Back in the present, David and Snow explain that usually royal babies get coronation ceremonies but they’re opting for a less extravagant pot luck at Granny’s. Henry appears having found the perfect apartment and Emma quickly changes the subject to the fact that her baby brother is still nameless. Before the festivities begin, though, we find Rumple hiding away the real dagger and convincing Belle to hold on the fake. And he turns her attention to more happy matters, like their pending nuptials. And over at the Mayoral mansion, Robin and Regina are having a glass of wine by firelight and she reveals that he is the person she was destined to fall for. I can’t stand how freaking adorable the two of them are together! I just want to hug them they are so sweet.

The festivities begin and Henry is reading “Snow Falls” to his uncle while Snow and David interject and Emma watches on. They also point out that David was engaged to Abigail at one point. Oh and we’ve got Ruby back, too. I guess it helps since Intelligence got axed. But no sooner has Hook let slip that Emma is thinking of leaving town and she takes off, does Henry spy Zelena’s portal. Methinks there is going to be trouble afoot. The gang heads to the jail but Zelena’s missing. Of course we just now notice the surveillance cameras. Rumple does a little magic to make it look like Zelena killed herself to avoid suspicion falling on him. They all vow to stay away from the portal until they figure out how to close it. Hook, meanwhile, finds Emma and she explains that she’s been running her whole life and she’ll stop when she finds a place that she misses when she leaves. But it isn’t Storybrooke and with her parents. I have a feeling that’s all going to change by the end of this episode. She spies the portal too and they end up getting sucked in and deposited around the time of “Snow Falls”.

Emma surmises that time portals act like any other portal and take you to where and when you’re thinking of. She was clearly thinking of that story. They have to beat a hasty retreat from the road though because they spy some black knights. They follow them to a village where we see Granny and Gipetto amongst the villagers as Regina rants about finding Snow. Once Emma is in some more location appropriate garb (including corset and mega low cut dress) they take off and start witnessing the first time Snow and Charming met. Emma’s pretty entranced by the whole thing until she breaks a twig, which distracts Snow and makes her fall. She takes off without the jewels and David and Abigail head off via the troll bridge to get to their destination. I’d say completely screwing up your parents’ first meeting is a big change there, Ms. Swan. Good job!

Emma suggests they go find Rumple to see if he can help undo their mess. He finds them lurking outside his castle and tries to kill Hook (as the pirate warned Emma he might) but she convinces Rumple that they are from the future and she knows about Bae and she confirms that he finds his son. But they do have that hiccup about her parents not meeting. He takes them to his castle and Emma tries to explain that the marriage between David and Abigail isn’t supposed to happen. She tries to show him the book but it’s blank. Whoops. Meanwhile, we see Snow trying to secure passage through Blackbeard but he turns her down. Rumple agrees to help get the portal back to the future open but it’s up to Emma to fix the mess up of her parents not meeting. Which means they’ve got to go to a ball at King Midas’ castle. Oh lord, Emma in a fairytale ball gown. This is going to be hilarious.

Before we get to the ball, we need to find a way to get Snow there. And if she needs passage, Hook has a plan. He’s going to get her on the Jolly Roger and secure her services while Emma keeps time period appropriate Hook busy. I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in my life as Emma uses her boobs to great effect and fakes getting drunk. Unfortunately she can’t keep him off the Jolly Roger forever and poor Mr. Smee is so damn confused by the Captain’s changing vests. Emma’s trying to give the other Hook a chance to get off the ship by snogging drunk Hook but it doesn’t work and Hook just punches himself out. I never thought I’d say this but two Hooks are better than one. Oh sweet lord I laughed so hard.

Emma and Hook get into the ball thanks to Rumple’s magic invite and a wardrobe change. They even seem to have a little fun dancing before Abigail gets bitchy about her footwear and sends David off to fetch her more comfy shoes. Meanwhile, Snow is breaking into the castle to find the ring. And Regina shows up with her guards to I guess pay respect to the bride. Or just be a mega bitch. Snow manages to get away and Emma thinks all is set right again (Snow even clocked David in the face) but she dropped the ring on the escape. Emma picks it up and before she can get far enough to give it to Snow, Regina’s guards nab her and lock her up. She meets the woman who supposedly knew where Snow was (Emma wanted to help her out but couldn’t). They only have one more night in the clink though because everyone in the dungeon gets executed the next day. Well shit. And Snow, David and Hook (as Prince Charles) have to go rescue Emma now.

We also get a flashback to Portland in 2001 where Emma and Neal have their first drink together. It’s not all shady in a bar or anything, he breaks in to an amusement park ride and I about melted with the adorableness of it and the fact that we got a new Swanfire flashback. Emma asks about his “story” he says that he left a screwed up situation and got more screwed up. He laments that life wasn’t always bad and we find that Emma’s take on where home is comes directly from Neal (as did having a backup plan and exit strategy). I swear, I’ve gone from laughing out loud to getting weepy in this episode and it’s not even over yet.

Snow goes to get help (thanks Ruby) and the guys bond by the campfire. I laughed a little at Hook mentioning that David should remember all he’s done for Emma in the future. Ruby gets there and they sneak into the castle. Unfortunately, Emma’s already busted out thanks to another handy tip from Neal. It wouldn’t be so bad but she let the other woman go who was supposed to die the next day. Really Emma, sometimes you just have to let things happen how they are meant to. That’s kind of the point! And at this rate, we’re never going to learn what they named her baby brother!

Snow has snuck into the castle and is going to try and defeat Regina but Regina’s ready for her. She is going to burn her at the stake and the gang gets to the high window just in time to see Regina throw a fireball. Hook holds Emma as they watch. You know, I wasn’t even that annoyed by it because I kept thinking that it didn’t make sense for Emma to still be there if Snow was really dead. In fact she used some dark fairy dust to turn herself into a bug and fly off. Charming catches her and the Blue Fairy returns her to her true form. Emma is so relieved that she hugs Snow and has tears in her eyes. I think she’s finally getting it that family is where her home is and that’s Storybrooke with Snow and Charming and Henry and the baby and hell even Rumple and Regina.

Snow takes off to the troll bridge and Charming goes after her. Of course, in the first timeline, Snow used the magic dust to turn the trolls into bugs. This time she doesn’t have it. But she uses some sand and tricks the trolls so it’s all good and Emma is pretty excited that things are back on track. And apparently she and Hook are taking the woman Emma freed with them back to the future, even if it is kidnapping. Now let’s get them back to the future already! Rumple can’t make the portal work and when Emma can’t either, he locks them in his dark vault. But she realizes that she wants to be with her family and that seems to make the magic work. She opens the portal and Hook jumps through. Emma is about to go when Rumple grabs her. He’s got a forgetting potion but he wants to know what happens with Bae. So she tells him that Neal forgave his father and loved him but died to save them and that Emma loved him, too. Rumple drinks the memory potion as the portal closes and looks around all confused. I cracked up.

Emma gets back to her family and is so happy to see them she hugs David and Snow twice and calls them Mom and Dad. Progress! Now let’s get that baby a name, please. And they name him Neal which given his namesake’s cameo I should have guessed. Things should be all happy and for a brief moment, they are. Rumple and Bell get married (ugliest wedding outfit ever) and Hook and Emma have a make out session. Regina and Robin seem pretty happy, too but then we learn that the rescued woman is Robin’s wife, Marian. Regina is right pissed at Emma for ruining her other love. She warns that Emma better not have brought anything else back. Cut to the circle of doom and it fills with blue, a woman forms and she’s shooting ice from her hands. Well hello, Frozen!

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