Sunday, April 13, 2014

Once Upon a Time 3.17: "The Jolly Roger"

O“Just take it from me, just this once. No matter how much you wish you could go back to your old life, you can’t.”
- Hook

In case the title didn’t clue you in, this week is all about Hook. We jump in during the lost year where he and his boys are fleecing soldiers out of their hauls like common criminals rather than pirates. Hook is trying to get back to who he once was but doesn’t appear to be that easy. For one thing, the woman his shipmates pay for doesn’t get anything from him except more money and a smile. And then as Hook is walking away, someone jumps him. And that someone is Ariel. She wants to make him pay. Ominous.

Perhaps even more ominous is David and Emma trying to put together a crib. It’s actually pretty hilarious. But David is of the mind that they need to keep living their lives, even with Zelena still out there. Emma agrees. At least now the crazy witch can’t get at the Snowing baby at home. Regina has beefed up security without blood magic. So they’ll be safe there. And Emma decides that maybe it would be a good idea for her to learn magic so that she and Regina could team up against Zelena. Something tells me this is going to be really not fun for Emma. She sort of beats around the bush that the Charmings aren’t fun and so she’s going to drop Henry off with Hook. They get to the docks to find Hook and Smee in an argument. Smee wants to be off sailing again and having adventures and he’s unhappy that Hook won’t even tell him if he found the Jolly Roger during the missing year. Emma explains that she needs Hook to babysit so she can learn magic and defeat Zelena. She is still sticking to her plan of taking Henry back to New York when this as all over. Hook warns her that no matter how much you want to go back, you can’t. Down on the beach, the Charmings are taking a leisurely stroll when they happen upon a crowd a certain washed ashore mermaid. This is going to be interesting.

Ariel has come back because she’s lost Prince Eric and she thinks he might be here. Snow and Charming fill her in on what’s been going on in town and suggest a visit to Hook since he’s go this memories and all. He’s playing dice at Granny’s with Henry but he says he’s never heard of Eric when Ariel asks. Which a complete and utter lie because back in the Enchanted Forest, she accuses Hook of kidnapping Eric aboard the Jolly Roger. He soon figures out that his nemesis, Blackbeard, has taken hold of his ship. Hmm, does this sound like Pirates of the Caribbean to anyone else? Hook gets a bug up his ass about getting his ship back. In fact he gets a little violent about it which sort of freaks out Smee. Ariel insists on coming along to get her man back and Hook isn’t particularly happy about it but she’s got the pirate bro code on her side so he’s stuck with her.

Out at Regina’s crypt, she is taking Emma to learn some magic. It doesn’t go well, probably because Emma really isn’t invested. But Regina, getting a brilliant idea from how she was trained by Rumple, whisks her away to a bridge over a very long drop into some rough water. We’ll see if it’s enough to actually get the student motivated. Elsewhere, the Charmings badger Hook into helping Ariel even though he clearly would rather be anywhere else. And back in the Enchanted Forest, she says she is surprised that he would even think of kidnapping or killing a prince, given the hand he played in helping to save Henry and such. He is desperately trying to forget that part of his life and go back to being a scoundrel and a bastard and I have to say, it is kind of getting on my nerves. After a teary reunion between Belle and Ariel, Hook happens upon Eric’s cloak (which he ripped back in the day and got Ariel all miffed).

Back on the bridge, Regina starts to collapse the bridge and tells Emma she can stop it and save herself. The ropes start to untie once all the boards are gone and Emma falls. But she manages to pull all the boards together and levitate herself back up. Regina is a little annoyed because all she wanted from Emma was to retie the ropes. She feels our savior is wasting her potential. Back at Gold’s shop, they enchant Eric’s cloak and follow it but it leads them to the water and the cloak disappears. Ariel thinks that means her prince is dead and she turns to Hook for comfort which is rather awkward.

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Hook, Ariel and Smee find the Jolly Roger and Hook calls Blackbeard out for a fight. It doesn’t seem to be going in our captains’ favor at first until he uses the ship’s quirks to his advantage and traps Blackbeard’s foot in a loose floorboard. He’s ready to slice off the bastard’s head when Ariel says that Eric isn’t aboard. Blackbeard is going to test Hook to see if he’s really a pirate anymore. He says that Hook can let Blackbeard live and he’ll take them to Eric (who is on a deserted island. This totally sounds like Pirates of the Caribbean) or Hook can kill him and Eric dies. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions. I have an idea of what Hook chooses and it would explain his hesitance to help Ariel now in Storybrooke. We’ll see if my theory plays out or not. I was sort of right. Hook shoves Blackbeard off the ship and Ariel flips out on him. I suppose with good reason. But she says she’s not giving up hope and she jumps off the boat, gets her tail back and swims for it.

In Storybrooke, David’s idea of having fun with Henry involves underage driving. They seem to have fun but mailboxes were harmed in the process. Oops! Later, Hook has a crisis of conscience and blabs everything to Ariel. She slaps him and calls him a coward. He says he’d do anything to change what happened and so she makes him swear it on his true love’s name. Which of course is Emma. And it wasn’t really Ariel after all. It was Zelena and she’s now cursed Hook’s kiss. When he kisses Emma, he will leave her powerless which is just what Zelena wants. Hook points out that Zelena needed the extra help because for some reason, she can’t kill Emma. Zelena threatens everyone Emma loves if Hook doesn’t do as she asks. He heads off to the Charmings’ apartment and finds Emma. I swear I thought he was going to kiss her the entire scene but he manages to get out of it, even though he’s miserable now. However, the rest of the family reacting to Henry driving his hilarious. Regina gets all upset and then has to play it off like “oh I’m the Mayor, can’t have underage drivers on the road”. It’s pretty hilarious. We do get to see one more display of Emma’s magic. She checks in on Eric and Ariel. They’re happy together and living free of the curse. So good for them. The family heads off to Granny’s for dinner and Hook stands outside, spying on Emma through his spyglass. Creepy as hell but I love that Regina is part of the family now. Overall it kind of felt like mostly filler until the very end with Zelena popping up with her “gotcha” moment. We’ll see what next week brings.

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