Sunday, October 11, 2015

Once Upon a Time 5.03: "Siege Perilous"

“Yes, some large rock decided I was a hero. A preachy fulfilled. Ever since then, I’ve had victories and I’ve had losses. And I’ve learned that losses is what makes us brave.”
- Arthur

Tensions and tempers are running a bit high in Storybrooke these days. Emma pops by the mines and snags one of the axes from the dwarves. She thinks it will help her free Excalibur. Imaginary Rumple just laughs at her when she breaks the ax. He’s quite cheeky and I kind of love it (plus it gives Robert Carlyle something to do other than lay about in a coma). Grumpy and company bust into the sheriff’s office demanding that David do something to get the ax back. They aren’t very happy with his answer that he’ll look into it. But he is feeling really frustrated by the fact that Emma went dark and he couldn’t protect his little girl (again). Mary Margaret reminds him that he is her hero and he’s doing all he can. Regina, meanwhile may have a clue to what they were doing back in Camelot. A bunch of books came through and there’s a page marked with a question mark in her handwriting. Intriguing!

Back I Camelot, we see Regina and company find that page in the book. It describes a toadstool that allows people to communicate through magical barriers. Maybe if they can talk to Merlin, they can figure out how to get him out of the tree. This prompts David to decide to go on a quest with Arthur. I guess he was feeling kind of useless just sitting around holding the baby. We get a brief look at the round table and the Siege Perilous (where the knight with the purest heart sits). It used to be Lancelot until he got the hots for the Queen and Arthur kicked him out. Arthur is rather bummed to hear that his friend is dead. But there’s no time to mourn because they have a quest to complete with an always-burning torch. They head into a forest of eternal night and bond over the similarities in their upbringings and their wives. David manages to snag the needed toadstool but gets dragged underwater by some dead knights who failed to get the item. Arthur saves his new buddy’s life though. While the menfolk go off adventuring, Regina makes a rather creepy promise to Zelena that the baby will be loved and cared for, but Zelena won’t. Come on, Regina. You’re better than this!

While David agrees to help Arthur track down missing relics, Hook and Robin share a rather amusing chat about sonograms and their respective complicated love lives. This leads to Hook gets a takeout order he didn’t place and meeting Emma on his ship. She uses a bit of magic to make a meal (like old times) and is even in a cute pink number and her hair isn’t all frosted. If Hook falls for this shtick he’s a bigger moron than I thought! Well Hook isn’t quite that stupid, it turns out. He tells Emma he used to love her but not anymore. And he admits he was the villain at the start with Rumple (finally!). It seems David and Arthur have a bit of luck in their search, too. A stop by the pawn shop gives David an idea and it turns out Arthur’s squire is the culprit. Oops! Speaking of Belle, she found a spell that might save Rumple but she needs an object that touched him when he was just a man. Good luck with that, sister!

It seems Emma isn’t the only one that is untrustworthy wandering around Camelot. Sure he saved David’s life and makes him a knight of the round table. That’s all well and good. But it turns out he’s actually a villain himself. Well, according to one very not-dead Lancelot. He runs into Snow as she’s trying to calm a fussy Neal. I have to say I’m intrigued by this twist in the story. We always see Arthur as a pure, noble guy who is trying to do best for his kingdom and his people. In a way, I suppose he is still trying to do that. But he’s also lied to David’s face. He snagged the toadstool from David’s bag during the rescue and has secreted it away in the relic box.

Back in Storybrooke, the squire says he stole the stuff because he was mad at Arthur for being a taskmaster. Among the items stolen is the toadstool which David delivers to Mary Margaret and Regina in Regina’s vault. Now they have a shot at talking to Merlin and sorting it all out. Unfortunately for the squire, he’s not going to be doing anything any time soon. See, he was working under Arthur’s orders to take the items and keep them safe. Arthur needed to build trust with the denizens of Storybrooke so he could take over their town and build a new Camelot. Yeah, that’s a pretty big dick move there your majesty. He pulls an even bigger one when he forces his squire to commit suicide to keep from talking. What a complete asshole. I hope they were recording what was happening so that they can use it against him later!

Oh and it seems Hook and Robin will be teaming up to break into Emma’s place. Hook really wants to know what is behind door number one. Just as they start planning, Belle rushes in with rose jar in hand to grab a sandwich. Granny chides her about sitting down and eating a real meal when the rose pedals start to reform. She races back to the shop but finds Rumple gone. But the flower continues to bloom. It would appear Emma knows about Belle’s efforts with the healing spell and snagged the blade Hook used to taunt Rumple back in the day. That was kind of clever. And I totally misread imaginary Rumple’s point of needing a hero and Emma knowing which one it is. Apparently, since Rumple’s heart is now a clean slate he is neither good nor evil. So she can make him into a hero with the purest heart so that he can pull Excalibur from the stone so she can reform the sword with the dagger and snuff out the light. This is getting serious, folks!

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